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#LoveBeyondMoi The Leaky Boob Beyond Moi Valentine's Day giveaway

Love Beyond Moi TLB giveaway – 16 points about sex beyond baby

Posted on February 13, 2014February 13, 2014 by JMartin-Weber
by Jessica Martin-Weber
This post is the partner post to one Jeremy wrote, 9 Tips to having more and better sex after baby, on The Leaky Boob as part of a giveaway celebrating Valentine’s Day and expressing love beyond one day.  Find the giveaway information and widget to enter at the end of this post.

#LoveBeyondMoi The Leaky Boob Beyond Moi Valentine's Day giveaway

Sex after baby.  Everybody wants it, many fear it’s a lost cause, some dread it, others predict doom and gloom, a fair share are too exhausted to consider it, a few hop right to it, plenty think about it nervously, untold numbers want to figure out how to get more of it or how to want to want it at all.  Talk swirls around of lack of sex killing a relationship, a partner’s sexual needs, pressures of duty and obligation, what a woman wants, what a man needs, and how it seems like babies have an internal radar as to when their parents are getting it on no matter how strategic the timing.  That last one is probably true.  There are conflicting stereotypes; the fatigued and uninterested burnt out mom, the demanding and sex-obsessed dad, the sex kitten always available MILF, and the lazy-boy uninterested burnt out dad who doesn’t even take a second look when his partner stands in front of the TV naked before asking her to move.  In our sex obsessed society it’s no surprise that one of the biggest concerns about life after baby is if there will be a sex life after baby.

And now I will say what probably nobody ever expected anyone to say about sex after children:

My sex life drastically improved after having children.

I don’t mean it’s always what I want it to be or always great but it is so much better than before we had kids.  So is my marriage in general.  Blaming having children for a couple’s sex life going down hill is missing reality: it’s not the baby’s fault.  It’s also not the fault of breastfeeding, where your baby sleeps (we have had our kids in their own beds and rooms and with us), or giving birth.

I’m no expert but I’ve been having sex “after baby” for the last 15 years that included giving childbirth 6 times.  No expert but certainly experienced.  Which is incredibly awkward to write considering I know that some friends and family read this blog, including my mother-in-law.  Though she’s probably figured out we have sex by now…

But because I’m an advocate of sex not being a shame-filled topic and instead need to be open honest conversations with information sharing, I’m going to share my voice of experience on sex after baby anyway.  Even though I’m pretty sure several coworkers and maybe even my boss read here too.  We’re awkward talking about sex because of shame even when there is absolutely no reason to invite shame to the party.

Shame sucks, you guys.  In so many ways it sucks life out of us and ruins relationships, experiences, and allows oppression to continue.  Shame can prevent us from living whole heartedly, as Brene Brown says.  And shame can definitely ruin sex.  So for this conversation, we’re kicking shame to the curb, inviting honesty, and embracing vulnerability with a serving of humor.

Welcome to parenting where you will be faced with levels of honesty and vulnerability that one can only handle with a decent sense of humor.

First, 5 ways sex changes after having a baby

1.  Bodies.  The obvious, physical changes.  Not good, not bad, not ugly (kick that body shaming talk out of the room, it so ain’t sexy), just changed.  Unless there is some damage that happened, and it does happen, while a woman’s body will change with childbirth, it should still function and experience the same sensations as before but it will be different.  After the initial nervousness, many women discover that sex actually improves after baby.  And don’t make the mistake of thinking that the birthing partner is the only one that experiences physical changes, studies show that men also experience physical hormone changes during pregnancy.  Same sex partners likely experience this affect as well.

2.  Availability.  Sex won’t be as readily available after baby.  Time taking care of your kid(s) will cut into time you could be having sex.  There will be an ebb and flow to this, with certain seasons of your child’s development taking more time than others

3.  Energy.  Kids are work.  LOTS of work.  Wonderful, rewarding, special, fulfilling, and very draining work.  And you’re learning on the job, a job that is 24/7.  There are times when it will be down right exhausting and more often than not, you won’t even get a break when it’s most fatiguing.

4.  Priorities.  It’s likely sex is going to move down on your list of priorities a bit, at the very least, a new person has come into your life that will shift all your priorities by a position or two.  Sex isn’t likely to rank as high and honestly, sometimes sleep will be more important to you.

5.  Creative.  Because of points 1-4, sex after baby often has to become more creative.  Bodies have changed, availability a little more complicated, energy levels waxing and waning, and priorities rearranged, can make having sex more interesting.  Sometimes that’s good, sometimes that’s bad.  It’s all in what you do with it and you’ll have to get creative.

Secondly, 5 ways to ruin sex after baby.

6.  Stress.  You know how great stress is as an aphrodisiac?  Nothing gets you more in the mood than feeling like your overwhelmed and anxious, right?  Stress doesn’t help with sex, not with wanting it, getting it, or enjoying it.  Stressing about sex is pretty much the worst thing you could do if you hope to be having it.  But how do you just stop stressing about… anything?  Let alone sex?  You’re going to have to identify why you’re stressed, develop a strategy for reducing the stress, and ask for help.  In other words, pour a glass of wine (before anyone freaks, a glass of wine is fine even for breastfeeding moms but it’s never ok to be buzzed or drunk while caring for or cosleeping with children), sit on the couch, and without any blaming, communicate this stress with your partner.  Get vulnerable.

7.  Impatience.  Being impatient creates stress by the way so read point 6 again if you’re dealing with stress.  Like my kids thinking I’m taking FOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRREEEEEEVVVVVVVVER going to the bathroom while they wait outside the door for me to answer their 172nd question about when we get a dog and I answer yet again that I don’t feel we’re ready for one at this point in time, what feels like a long time may actually just be the postpartum version of peeing, wiping, pulling up your pants, and washing your hands.  Asking = pressuring when you’re trying to pee or find your libido.  The 6 week wait suggestion for resuming sexual activity after giving birth is just a suggestion, not law.  Listen to your body and respond accordingly, if you need more time, take it, and if you need less, great.  This goes for both partners, plenty of women are impatient with themselves after childbirth, frustrated that their sex drive hasn’t “bounced back.”  Impatience with how long it may take to even want sex, adjusting to this new version of sex, or anything else related can ruin the whole thing.

8.  Comparing.  Oddly enough for there being such a lack of honest conversations about sex, there is sex everywhere.  Or what we’re told is sex.  TV shows, film, porn, magazine ads, etc., make it seem like everyone is having way more and way sexier sex than you are.  This puts so much pressure on pretty much everyone that it’s not unusual that when we do talk about it sometimes even in real life it seems like everyone is having way more and way sexier sex than you.  Some people are, great for them. (Come on now, be happy for them.)  Lots more are probably way closer to what you’re experiencing, specially if they have young children.  And don’t compare to stereotypes.  Who cares what women are supposed to like or do and what men supposedly want, just be yourself.  Comparing your sex life with anyone else, real or imaginary, won’t help the spark in your own sex life and could very likely deflate it entirely.  Same thing goes with comparing your life with anyone else, real or imaginary.

9.  Forcing.  Sometimes I hear people say that if you don’t want to have sex you just have to do it anyway.  Phrases like “take one for the team” (I just threw up in my mouth a bit writing that), “suck it up, it’s your duty”, and “if you don’t do it, he/she will find it elsewhere” seem to be acceptable forms of sexual coercion in our society, particularly within committed relationships.  Coercion isn’t sexy.  Obligated sex isn’t sexy.  When someone feels forced or manipulated into doing something they don’t want to do, they don’t feel safe and this will undermine true vulnerability and relational security.  Not only may it ruin your sex life, it may very well ruin your relationship.  Sometimes it is worth trying to have sex even if you’re not in the mood but only if the context is completely safe and free of pressure and expectation of duty.

10.  Imbalance.  If one partner gets to be done “working” and experiences changes of environment and interactions and the other doesn’t, monotony and frustration are likely to hit.  If one partner feels more responsible than the other for child care and home life, having to be on and available 24/7 can deplete their resources.  Imbalance in the relationship and the responsibilities or a woman feeling there is a lack of support from her partner is like the antithesis of sex appeal, more than body changes, fatigue (though that’s a big one), and even feeling pressured for sex.  Support in their parenting journey ends up being sexy, according to a study of new parents.  Coparenting and equal responsibility can ignite the fires of passion and doing chores together provides plenty of opportunity for flirting that made lead to something more later and a shared work load means more energy and one not exhausted from carrying the burden alone.

Lastly, 6 was to help your sex life after baby

11.  Space.  Before kids finding some time alone to relax, read, be creative, hear your own thoughts, pee alone,  take a shower, and sleep didn’t seem like a complicated challenge each and every day.  After kids, it’s likely these things will.  As much as breastfeeding releases hormones the help with reducing stress and promote bonding, constant touch and interaction, even with an infant, can be draining.  When partners help each other find space in their day and week, a few minutes to a few hours to recharge, it helps each find room for even entertaining the idea of sex.  But if a partner is “touched out” and hasn’t had time to themselves, they often won’t have anything left to give and sex can end up feeling like a burden.  Want better sex?  Make each partner getting the space they need to remember their whole selves a priority, respecting whatever that looks like according to individual personalities and preferences.

12.  Masturbate.  Whenever I mention this one people get uncomfortable.  Self pleasure isn’t something to be ashamed of and it can greatly help relieve sexual tension and frustration, allowing for a more gradual progression of coming together.  For women that have given birth, masturbation can go a long way in discovering what works for you now and adjust to the changes of your body.  It can also help develop confidence.  If you know what feels good to you, if you know you can find pleasure sexually, sharing that with your partner can translate into really, really great sex.  The only time self pleasure can be a problem is if it replaces sex together for a long period of time or if it becomes dependent on tools that somehow create unrealistic expectations of sex with your partner.

13.  Intentionality.  With the shifting of priorities it is likely you’ll have to make an intentional effort to getting to those that end up bumped a little lower on the list.  Including sex.  Some couples find putting it on the calendar helps but others find that too rigid and too much pressure.  Even if you like a more spontaneous approach, being intentional can help make your sex life after baby great.  It may not be that you have to be intentional about sex as much as intentional about finding ways to cultivate the connection you have with your partner.  Take time to decompress when you need it but also take time to turn off screens (TV, smart phones, computer, tablets, etc.), take a break from chores, and intentionally focus on each other.  Regular date nights (when baby is still really young, take baby along), mini dates at home (we call them couch dates), no-sexual-pressure massages, cooking a meal together, are just a few ways you can be intentional in keeping your connection going outside that can help make for great sex.

14.  Flirting.  You may be in a committed relationship (or not…) and you may have a child or two (or six…) but your flirting days are far from being over.  Want great sex?  Flirt.  All.  Day.  Long.  Except for sometimes if your partner feels like it is pressure.  Carrying over from the previous point, intentional flirting with your partner communicates how they are on your mind, that you see them as more than just your coparent.  Even now, 18 years after we met, when Jeremy flirts with me be it with a flirtatious touch, glance, low comment only I can hear amidst the ruckus of our children, a sexy email, a tantalizing text (one of my favorites is just a simple text message saying “I’m thinking of you right now…”, or “I’m looking forward to being alone later”, or even more sexy “I was just remembering that thing we did the other night…”), or a sweet and thoughtful gesture that, though simple, he knows I will appreciate.  And I flirt back.  Let me be clear, this isn’t a ploy to get sex, that will be seen through faster than a projectile spit up and backfires as manipulative and pressuring.  Flirting has to be genuine, you really want your partner’s attention and to let them know you want to be with them because you want to be with them, not because you want to get laid.

15.  Communication.  Look into each other’s eyes, listen and talk.  About everything and anything but especially about sex.  Don’t be alone together, be together together.  And if sex isn’t really working, listen and talk about that, vulnerably without shame or blame.  This may be more scary than the prospect of sex after giving birth to an 8 pound tiny human but it can be just as rewarding.

16.  Humor.  There are bound to be bumps along the road, learning to laugh at the experiences together (not laughing at each other unless that works for you without jeopardizing the safe space you share for vulnerability).  Laughter helps release tension and pours endorphins and stress reducing hormones into your body.  A shared communication of happiness, laughing together bonds and connects.  Along the parenting journey there will be moments where the options are clearly laugh or cry.  When you can, choose laughter and the distress will giveaway to calm.  With your partner, humor can serve to provide support, flexibility, and understanding.  Laughter is sexy.

Of course sex after baby is going to be different because everything after baby is different.  Regardless of your parenting decisions: stay at home, work from home, work out of the home, breastfeeding, formula feeding, cosleeping, separate sleeping, babywearing, or whatever, your life will change with having a baby.  Your schedule, cooking, sleep, housekeeping, your purse, underwear, expenditures, priorities, entertainment, bathing opportunities, and pretty much everything else about your life will change.  Let’s stop being shocked that things are going to be different after having a baby and let’s start working to enjoy the seasons of life as they roll.  It’s not that having children takes over, it’s that when you add so much love and someone so wonderful to your life you suddenly really begin to understand what it means to love beyond yourself and beyond how love makes you feel.  Having children has taught me so much about being truly be present in my relationships, to not be looking just for what I get out of them, and to understand the value of vulnerability, letting go of shame, and humor in living beyond me.

~Jessica

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Arm’s Reach is the generous sponsor making it possible for Jeremy, aka: The Piano Man, to speak with Jessica at 4 different MommyCon events in 2014, presenting their “Sex After Baby” talk.  Jeremy will be speaking in Chicago, Denver, and two other cities TBA.  Motherlove is also the generous sponsor making it possible for Jessica to speak at MommyCon events in 2014!  
 

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Happy Valentine’s Day and BEYOND!  

If you are looking for the widget to enter our huge Valentine’s Day giveaway, then look no further.  The widget is right below this text.  A couple of reminders before you go crazy with the widget:

1. Due to the varied shipping restrictions of our many, generous, sponsors, this giveaway is for US participants only.  We apologize for having to leave out our international followers.  We just can’t figure out how to better manage a giveaway of this magnitude.

2. Don’t forget that these same sponsors are also offering discounts and promotional codes just for TLB followers.  Don’t miss out!  Check them out at the giveaway post.

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814 thoughts on “Love Beyond Moi TLB giveaway – 16 points about sex beyond baby”

  1. Marybeth says:
    February 13, 2014 at 11:22 pm

    My tip for better sex after baby…is coconut oil. Or your lube of choice. For real. It’s amazing how much better proper lubrication makes sex, and I often find I get in the mood more often if we have a great experience- good sex begets more good sex!

    Reply
    1. Maria says:
      February 23, 2014 at 7:50 pm

      Yup! Works like a charm!

      Reply
    2. Jenna says:
      February 24, 2014 at 11:15 am

      Really?! Thanks for the tip. I just had a VBA2C and so I feel like a first time mom in this department. C-sections have their own issues to deal with for sex including dryness, but it wasn’t as extreme as I think it will be this time. And I had a second degree tear…so coconut oil, yeah? Lots?! lol. We have buckets of the stuff. 🙂

      Reply
    3. Kris says:
      February 24, 2014 at 10:23 pm

      Find ways to complement one another. Not with words but with action and understanding. No pointing fingers. Agree to disagree. Take time for you but also as a couple. Patience.

      Reply
  2. Teresa honores says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:30 am

    seeing the hubby with the kids and when he helps around the house

    Reply
    1. Tiffany says:
      February 19, 2014 at 4:16 pm

      Couldn’t agree more!

      Reply
  3. Meghan Corey says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:01 am

    Wine. Lots of wine.

    Reply
    1. angela fahey says:
      February 19, 2014 at 8:47 am

      great tips!

      Reply
  4. Christine Bailey says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:17 am

    When my husband does little things for me and the family, like spending extra time, or doing the dishes, things like that…always seems to make me more attracted to him and puts me in the mood!

    Reply
  5. Andrea says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:18 am

    It is hard to get in the mood once baby saps all of your energy, but remember that your partner came first and without the sex, there would have been no baby!

    Reply
    1. Shawn Hierholzer says:
      February 22, 2014 at 7:00 am

      This is what I was gonna say…it is hard to be in the mood for me and I don’t like that at all. So what works well for me usually is to take a quiet, hot shower and think about how sex was before and how it made me feel!

      Reply
  6. sherry b says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:27 am

    Spending alone time with my husband can put me in the mood.

    Reply
  7. Amy D. says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:41 am

    Forget the chocolate and flowers, I can be won with yummy ripe fruit!

    Reply
  8. Britni says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:56 am

    Honestly with a 2.5 yr old who hasn’t slept well in 2 yrs – what puts me in the mood is a good night’s rest. It’s a lot more enjoyable when I’m not operating on 3 hr stretches of sleep.

    Reply
  9. Megan Duncan says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:56 am

    What puts me in the mood is when he gets aroused by accident, just me being me.

    Reply
  10. Elizabeth says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:00 am

    What puts me in the mood is not having a lot on my mind – in other words, I’ve gotten help with so many of the daily chores related to mothering – bedtime, clean up, homework for older kids, baby care for the younger ones. When I am more free mentally, I am more free emotionally and physically.

    Reply
  11. Amy says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:02 am

    When I get help around the house.

    Reply
  12. Krystyn @ Really, Are You Serious? says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:12 am

    A massage usually helps up me in the mood.

    Reply
  13. Cassie V says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:41 am

    Getting help around the house puts me in the mood, it frees up my mind of some of the daily grind.

    Reply
    1. Melodie Diaz Cruz says:
      February 24, 2014 at 3:50 am

      What puts me in the mood is A, not having birth control hormones in my body anymore, and B when he wears my favorite hat and is looking good!

      Reply
  14. B says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:42 am

    Patience,gentleness & understanding

    Reply
  15. Jessica M says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:54 am

    Being sweet and helpful

    Reply
  16. Emma says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:02 am

    Pretty much everything!

    Reply
  17. Casey Norris says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:08 am

    Love these tips!

    Reply
  18. Stephanie Lockwood says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:12 am

    When my husband makes me feel like he has to have me

    Reply
  19. Talia B. says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:14 am

    My husband helps me get in the mood when he takes a little more control of helping the kids nighttime routine stay on track and getting them to bed. It saves me some effort, is thoughtful, and lets me know he is willing to put n effort to be with me.

    Reply
  20. Christina F. says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:19 am

    “what puts you in the mood?” well, THAT’S a personal question! 😉 relaxing. a nice bath, getting to sleep in, a back/arm/hand/leg rub.

    Reply
  21. Danielle says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:42 am

    I think anytime my husband does the dishes puts me in the mood. I don’t think he ever does it for that reason either. Even sexier!

    Reply
  22. Sunny McClurg says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:43 am

    An awesome back rub always puts me in the mood! It’s nice to just share physical contact.

    Reply
  23. Amber McCormick says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:52 am

    Sex is a pretty rough topic for my husband and I- but especially for me. He really has his work cut out for him when it comes to helping me “get into the mood” and when he’s ALWAYS “in the mood” we find ourselves and a giant, tipping scale with both of us out of balance. Much of this post spoke about vulnerability and in the end, that’s exactly what puts me in the mood. When he takes off his stone mask and shows me more than his masculinity, when he truly lets me in and shows me the parts of himself that he rarely shows anyone, that place where I feel less alone in my ever-raw emotions and vulnerability; that is the place where I find our connection and when we are connected I find the passion we began with ten years ago. Seeing my husband without his guard, his sensitivity is what “puts me in the mood”. Though I’m sure he doesn’t believe it hah.

    Reply
  24. Christina says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:53 am

    Try to grab those special moments when you can find the time. Trying to schedule it can lead to stress if things don’t line up to make it happen.

    Reply
  25. Melissa says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:04 am

    A sleeping baby!

    Reply
  26. Lesley says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:06 am

    I haven’t figured out a good tip yet. We are struggling. 🙁 I appreciate this article as it is very timely. Thank you.

    Reply
  27. Kimberly says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:12 am

    My husband helping out with other duties helps put me in the mood. If I have to do everything for everyone, I don’t have the energy left for him AND I’m probably going to be pretty annoyed.

    Reply
  28. Krista says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:23 am

    I struggle with this. Living with family is one issue but it’s mostly some of the points you have listed above. We really need to work on this.

    Reply
  29. Chelsea O says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:26 am

    My husband is only at home on weekends (sometimes only every third weekend) so we really try and enjoy the short time we have together.
    I like when my husband and I flirt all day long. From morning until night. We don’t even have to have sex that night, the flirting could continue until the next morning and help us really enjoy one another. It isnt about quantity as much as about quality of time spent.

    Reply
  30. Angelle Conant says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:29 am

    Thank you so much for being so frank! 🙂

    Reply
  31. Krista says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:29 am

    Forgot the tip! I would say learning to shut off your mind.

    Reply
  32. Jen S says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:31 am

    “Support in their parenting journey ends up being sexy” – oh so true! Feeling supported, valued, and part of a parenting team sets the framework to get me in the mood.

    Reply
  33. Becky says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:40 am

    Flirting is so important, it’s the little things things that lead to the “finish” 😉

    Reply
  34. Vanessa says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:46 am

    I have to agree with Marybeth…it’s all about the lube! Also, reading some steamy romance novels can help you get in the mood. 😉

    Reply
  35. amy says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:00 am

    thank you so much for this post! it is very encouraging and i plan to share it with my husband so that we can improve our sex life together

    Reply
  36. Rachael K says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:00 am

    Nothing is sexier than a man who appreciates how hard I’ve worked at parenting all day instead of the ‘what have you been doing all day?’ routine! Acknowledging that I’m tired but he’ll make it ‘worth my while’ to stay up a bit later goes a long way too!

    Reply
  37. Marian says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:01 am

    Getting some time to myself. As a SAHM to 2 I feel like I’m always on during the day. Since I’m also an introvert it is very draining for me. A little time to recharge and do what I want alone does wonders.

    Reply
  38. Michelle S. says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:10 am

    Feeling connected with your spouse is what creates intimacy for me. Understanding and patience…

    Reply
  39. Jessie says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:10 am

    When the husband says go do something for an hour for you. Love it…

    Reply
  40. Jay Dee says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:11 am

    Kissing and touching puts me in the mood.

    Reply
  41. Rhyannon Walker says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:21 am

    Remember to spend time together as a couple, not just as parents.

    Reply
  42. RochelleL says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:24 am

    Patience and not-for-sex touching, usually gets there anyway.

    Reply
  43. Ashley Runholt says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:29 am

    I would say hands down touching….knowing you have that physical contact!

    Reply
  44. Carrie says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:32 am

    Cuddling and talking is a great way to destress and relax. When I relax to it leads to me being in the mood. Bubble baths also help.

    Reply
  45. Christine says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:35 am

    Him helping around the house actually and just flirting

    Reply
  46. Abigail says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:46 am

    Emotional intimacy usually gets me in the mood, or little pieces of affection through the day.

    Reply
  47. Margaret Young says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:48 am

    Coconut oil for intimate times made a words of difference, plus it’s just go for down there and well everywhere!

    Reply
  48. Megan C says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:49 am

    A clean house and booze…

    Reply
  49. Jessica O says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:58 am

    I don’t really have any tips but this article and comments were very helpful, so hopefully I will get some drive back soon! I think a big thing with me is I need to take more initiative and make time to be intimate instead of making excuses!

    Reply
  50. Jennifer S says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:58 am

    A clean house 😀

    Reply
  51. Amanda says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:58 am

    Having alone time to relax with hubs with baby fast asleep in another room

    Reply
  52. Elizabeth Gee says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:05 am

    I good nights rest the day before does wonders for my mood and makes it more likely for me to want sex because I can think clearly.

    Reply
  53. Nicole Maginnis says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:09 am

    Unfortunately I have not been intimate with my husband since having our daughter. The pain if a C Sec and my being uncomfortable with the while situation has been difficult. I do not feel okay with the baby in the same room nor do I feel okay if she starts crying in another room. It’s something I have to work on buy I am not sure I am ready for it yet. My husband is patient but I know he’s getting frustrated.

    Reply
  54. Brandy says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:14 am

    I love it when hubby takes the kids for awhile so I can do things for myself… like shower! When I feel better about how I look, and have had a break, I am so much more in the mood for a little adult time.

    Reply
  55. Amanda T says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:19 am

    Having hubby help out and getting our son to bed.

    Reply
  56. Elizabeth P. says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:30 am

    Love a little massage to get me in the mood!

    Reply
  57. Sarah L. says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:35 am

    Get some rest. As hard as that may be after having a baby, it’s important. When I’m exhausted I just can’t but if I can get even just a couple of hours of decent sleep I feel so much better!

    Reply
  58. Jennifer says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:38 am

    cuddling and relaxing together

    Reply
  59. Heather B says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:48 am

    What puts me in the mood is light touch massage.

    Reply
  60. Jennifer says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:48 am

    A patient husband and enough sleep for mama! It’s hard to be interested if your eyes won’t stay open.

    Reply
  61. angela says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:49 am

    I love the humor suggestion! My hubby is a crazy guy, and it’s fun to just go along with it sometimes- He’ll always make me laugh!

    Reply
  62. Rhawnie Gonzalez says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:52 am

    Take it slow

    Reply
  63. Heather B says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:55 am

    Light touch massage puts me in the mood.

    Reply
  64. Roxanne W says:
    February 14, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    I think looking forward to trying new things helps with the mood

    Reply
  65. Colleen says:
    February 14, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    What puts me in the mood? Real clothes, lol. It sounds ridiculous but I’m a SAHM and I spend most of my days in PJ pants and T-shirts, and my husband prefers comfy clothes when he’s home as well. Just putting on jeans and a shirt with some shape (and a real bra!) makes a world of difference in my feelings and intentions.

    Reply
  66. Rachel R says:
    February 14, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    I have to be relaxed and not stressed out!

    Reply
  67. Jessica says:
    February 14, 2014 at 12:11 pm

    My husband taking time to “warm up” and not just wanting sex right away puts me in the mood.

    Reply
  68. Heidi Stane says:
    February 14, 2014 at 12:53 pm

    A nice back massage puts me in the mood. 😉

    Reply
  69. Joanna Garcia says:
    February 14, 2014 at 12:55 pm

    Def communication is key and time for each other, do not make me feel like a slave in the house and all i am is the caretaker LOL help me out and you will get reciprocated greatly! thats my advice!

    Reply
  70. Mechelle Lehman says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:04 pm

    Be patient and start with listening and snuggling. Even if you are too tired for sex you can still share a quiet snuggle at the end of the day.

    Reply
  71. Mechelle Lehman says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    Feelings wanted puts me in the mood. Feeling like he wants to be with me and not just “get off”. A simple hug and kiss while I’m making dinner… a grope even. Being told how much he wants to be with me even if we only have energy for a cuddle.

    Reply
  72. cherrelle meyer-webber says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    Seeing my husband being sweet and fun with our girls is so sexy to me.

    Reply
  73. Kim says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    My hubby helping out a little extra and trying for a 3rd baby doesn’t hurt either

    Reply
  74. Christine M says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:14 pm

    Little unexpected surprises like putting away things, doing an extra chore, something I do everyday that I can skip today 🙂

    Reply
  75. LeighAnn says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:15 pm

    A nice full body massage with some lavender scented coconut oil always works

    Reply
  76. Tamara sparks says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:28 pm

    Help with the kids and house….. Candles……. Massage….. Relaxation. 🙂

    Reply
  77. Lolli S says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    When my husband helps out around the house and when he tells me I am beautiful.

    Reply
  78. Audra says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    Getting enough rest!

    Reply
  79. Kassandra says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    A nice warm bath and massage then just try different positions to figure out what works.

    Reply
  80. Chely F. says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    a romantic dinnere!

    Reply
  81. Larissa says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    Seeing my hubby work so hard to provide for our family

    Reply
  82. Deidrea H. says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    A lil tequila and feeling pretty 🙂

    Reply
  83. Jutta P. says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    I find that having a quiet, clean house where I can decompress for a little bit really puts me in the mood. A nice warm bath and an essential oil back rub are awesome too!

    Reply
  84. Leann L says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:52 pm

    Definitely when he gives me a massage.

    Reply
  85. Leslee says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:54 pm

    Cuddling with my SO

    Reply
  86. Kelly Kerr says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:56 pm

    Long hugs, slow dancing

    Reply
  87. Nici r says:
    February 14, 2014 at 1:57 pm

    When my husband puts the kids to bed!

    Reply
  88. Christy says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:00 pm

    Nothing…yet

    Reply
  89. Ani W says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    I dont have any tips.. its been a while since I have had a baby! But I am about to have to figure this out!

    Reply
  90. Kellie says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    An uninterrupted back rub!

    Reply
  91. felicia says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    sleep!

    Reply
  92. Chabree says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:19 pm

    A sweet nudge after help with anything in around the house. Not just asking for it.

    Reply
  93. Lisa says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    Husband being helpful and also his patience; I don’t like being pushing into it.

    Reply
  94. Genavie Hess says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    Flirting/heavy petting with the hubby throughout the day…gets us in the mood for when we can have our alone time once the baby is asleep

    Reply
  95. meg says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:24 pm

    being flirted with without expectation ;]

    Reply
  96. April P says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:24 pm

    Non-sexual touch from my hubby helps me know he’s still interested in me and not just for sex. That and him helping me around the house without me asking.

    Reply
  97. Liz says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    non-sexual touching helps!

    Reply
  98. Sam C says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    Nothing really puts me in the mood.. I feel so sorry for my sig other! Breastfeeding is keeping any and all hormones away that would make me want to do anything with him.

    Reply
  99. Erin T says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    Nice back rub, or after some relaxing mommy time!

    Reply
  100. Danielle says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    The little things, like having help around the house and small touches if I am making dinner or things like that.

    Reply
  101. Jessica Rodenbaugh says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:34 pm

    Seeing my husband be a great dad

    Reply
  102. Kelsey S. says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:40 pm

    Nothing puts me in the mood like a nice back rub from my husband!

    Reply
  103. Aimee says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:40 pm

    Flirt. All. Day. Long. I often forget to flirt with my husband and not only will it make me feel better but it will make him feel wanted which we need since we both work a disgusting amount and have a 3 month old.

    Reply
  104. Peggy T says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:41 pm

    Tip for better sex after baby: honestly, I don’t have one!… Which is why I am reading these posts by Jeremy and Jessica. We. Need. Help.

    Reply
  105. JILL LASLEY says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:44 pm

    When he acts like he cant resist me 🙂

    Reply
    1. Gwen Siercks says:
      February 14, 2014 at 5:20 pm

      A massage

      Reply
  106. Ariana Burgess says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    Soft touches, caressing, kissing and hugging.

    Reply
  107. Lauren p says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    I think it’s important not to feel pressured. When I feel like it is not expected, that’s when I’m the most interested!

    Reply
  108. Rachel says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    When my husband helps take care of the baby so I can have some me time.

    Reply
  109. Kristyn A says:
    February 14, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    Having some good quality time always puts me in the mood.

    Reply
  110. Katie says:
    February 14, 2014 at 3:00 pm

    Having my hubby play with the kids so I can get some rest puts me in the mood for sex.

    Reply
  111. Elizabeth says:
    February 14, 2014 at 3:00 pm

    Not feeling run down and touched-out

    Reply
  112. Amanda Y says:
    February 14, 2014 at 3:01 pm

    Loving words, acknowledgment of my hard work, and help around the house/with the kids puts me in the mood.

    Reply
  113. Diana Cote says:
    February 14, 2014 at 3:04 pm

    My husband telling me i do a great job, helping out and being a sweet daddy or giving me a massage, he was awesome when my daughter was born, he would clean, cook, get things for me.. he always said he felt so helpless because i gave her everything she needed, he changed her diapers and took care of us…. that was so sweet. he was really good about not pushing me and trying to make me comfortable and we could stop whenever so there was no pressure. 😀

    Reply
  114. Victoria F says:
    February 14, 2014 at 3:17 pm

    My husband and a clean house.

    Reply
  115. Ashley Suzanne says:
    February 14, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    Love the doing help around the house and clean sheets : )

    Reply
  116. Anne b says:
    February 14, 2014 at 3:32 pm

    Hubby when he is playful but not intending to be sexual

    Reply
  117. Heatherl says:
    February 14, 2014 at 3:47 pm

    A day off!

    Reply
  118. Samantha Melton says:
    February 14, 2014 at 3:51 pm

    I had c-sections with my last 2 so I’m worried about how sex after a vbac will be with this one.

    Reply
  119. Leona B says:
    February 14, 2014 at 3:52 pm

    Just love in general. When there is a brief moment, where the children are asleep, and we get to cuddle and gently touch eachother, it puts me in the mood 🙂 We actually can’t cuddle anymore without it turning into something else LOL

    Reply
  120. Laura says:
    February 14, 2014 at 3:55 pm

    Having some help with baby, house, work etc, because it shows he is paying attention to ALL my needs.

    Reply
  121. Amanda Fuentes says:
    February 14, 2014 at 4:04 pm

    I think the thing that puts me in the mood the most is when hubby helps me with all the household duties: Laundry, dishes, dinner, calming DD, and once she’s in bed for the night he will wrap his arms around me and hug me really tight for a very long time and kiss me like he means it. Not just the quick pop-kiss, but a long, slow, deep kiss. Yeah…that does it. 🙂

    Reply
  122. Sara says:
    February 14, 2014 at 4:08 pm

    A nice home cook meal with some wine and the baby sleeping. Add in some candles and chocolate and I’m set

    Reply
  123. Angela Rhodes Ingles says:
    February 14, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    I love it when my husband cooks for me – nothing sexier. 🙂

    Reply
  124. Carli says:
    February 14, 2014 at 4:25 pm

    Kissing and lots of it!

    Reply
  125. Kara P says:
    February 14, 2014 at 4:37 pm

    Sleep and a shower! I can’t feel sexy when I haven’t showered in days and I can barely keep my eyes open.

    Reply
  126. Leigh says:
    February 14, 2014 at 4:43 pm

    Not be exhausted + having had five minutes to my self + kind and helpful husband.
    And hardest to get, a little privacy.

    Reply
  127. Kylee Price says:
    February 14, 2014 at 4:50 pm

    ANYTHING!

    Reply
  128. Annie says:
    February 14, 2014 at 4:58 pm

    I love watching the way my husband cares for our children especially our babies!

    Reply
  129. Savy Jo says:
    February 14, 2014 at 4:59 pm

    Watching my husband snuggle our baby so I can have alone time after he gets off work.

    Reply
  130. Tracie D says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:05 pm

    When I come home to a clean house. 🙂

    Reply
  131. Tracy Gordon says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:07 pm

    Getting a back rub from my hubby! I always tell him he has magic fingers!

    Reply
  132. Yolanda Flores says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:07 pm

    A nice massage would put me in the mood

    Reply
  133. Michelle says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:08 pm

    Having an understanding partner that things are weird and different after having a baby is key for me. Awkwardness will happen. Things won’t feel the same. But it’s ok!

    Reply
  134. Kristi says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    What gets me in the mood is a sweet text from my partner during the day. Just knowing he’s thinking about me and looking forward to seeing me makes me happy.

    Reply
  135. Katie D in LBK says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    At the moment, not much.

    Reply
  136. Jennifer Stone says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    Being rested helps me! Lacking that, hugs, talking, and a back rub!

    Reply
  137. Amelia Jarvis says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    When my husband does simple things for me. Making dinner, Bringing home flowers, Small things make the biggest impact!

    Reply
  138. KarrieAnn says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    A helpful partner is a happy partner! Having just a few less responsibilities puts me in the mood… You did dishes? DONE!

    Reply
  139. Robyn Mast says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    Putting on lingerie always helps me get in the mood if I’m not there yet!

    Reply
  140. Heather n Roberto says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    When’s husband helps me with cleaning and cooking ;). Sexiest thing ever.

    Reply
  141. amanda says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:13 pm

    When my hubby rubs my back in the middle of the night or just catches me off guard. 🙂

    Reply
  142. Laura Russell says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:14 pm

    A massage puts me in the mood.

    Reply
  143. Amanda S says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:15 pm

    Little surprises and random acts of kindness!

    Reply
  144. Carla Ladd says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:21 pm

    When hubby helps share the “work” load at home it takes the pressure off me, and gives me space to breathe. And fuels my desire for him 🙂

    Reply
  145. Leigh A says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:23 pm

    Porn. It helps to get in the mood.

    Reply
  146. Nikki C. says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:24 pm

    Playfulness!

    Reply
  147. Kelly Placek says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    What puts me in the mood? Taking a shower & spending one on one time with my husband after the toddler has gone to bed. Having the dishes washed for me doesn’t hurt either 😉

    Reply
  148. Meghan W. says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    A nice shoulder rub!

    Reply
  149. Loraine says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:33 pm

    Kissing, cuddling, laughing and sometimes a couple of libations! Those are some things that help to set the mood!

    Reply
  150. Kathleen D. says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    I need the right mindset and to have the kids asleep or occupied.

    Reply
  151. Elena says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:43 pm

    A clean house and a nice movie.

    Reply
  152. Danielle says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:44 pm

    When my husband helps out and gives me an evening off or getting a good nights rest!

    Reply
  153. Heidi fritz says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:44 pm

    Flirting

    Reply
  154. natasha says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:45 pm

    seeing my husband love on my boys makes me want to love on him… just giving me a time to breath and watch is the best thing ever!

    Reply
  155. Stacie M says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:47 pm

    Seeing husband help out with the kids and also around the house in general. Not only is it wonderful to have the help but it also means I will have more energy for some one on one time with him 😉

    Reply
  156. Amy says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:47 pm

    Getting sleep and help with house work.

    Reply
  157. rachel says:
    February 14, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    feeling emotionally connected and sleeping children puts me in the mood!

    Reply
  158. yvette says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:07 pm

    When my hubby helps me get the kids to bed and the evening chores done. Then maybe i’m able to relax a little before we get to bed at a decent hour and i’m not completely exhausted 🙂

    Reply
  159. Christine C says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:08 pm

    The only thing that gets me in the mood is another person. Since baby our relationship has gone downhill faster than the Olympic skiing team!

    Reply
  160. Katelyn Rodriguez says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:10 pm

    When my hubby listens and responds to my needs

    Reply
  161. Katherine Dixon says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:12 pm

    Wine gets me in the mood! 🙂 as does being stress free.

    Reply
  162. Krista G says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:12 pm

    What gets me in the mood is when my husband is affectionate and gives me a little back rub first.

    Reply
  163. Darrlene says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:13 pm

    11-16 are so important!!!!

    Reply
  164. amanda cain says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:18 pm

    A massage gets me in the mood

    Reply
  165. Brittany H says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:21 pm

    I think what puts me in the mood nowadays (with a 2 year old and 2 month old) is a peaceful bedtime routine, which my husband helps with. When my 2 year old takes an hour to fall asleep, and pushes each of my proverbial buttons, it puts me in a bad headspace and sexy time just isn’t going to happen.

    Reply
  166. Darrlene says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:22 pm

    Everything puts me in the mood 😛

    Reply
  167. Kayla says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:23 pm

    Kisses 🙂

    Reply
  168. Kim N says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:26 pm

    The little things like no technology and just pure communication

    Reply
  169. Kelsey Robinson says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:27 pm

    My hubby!

    Reply
  170. Jaqualine says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:32 pm

    For me the biggest thing is to be aware of when I’m most tired and initiate before then. Instead of right before bed, right after baby goes to bed!:)

    Reply
  171. Carla Leiran says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:42 pm

    Being clean and rested

    Reply
  172. jessica vieths says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:46 pm

    A good nights rest and some red wine

    Reply
  173. Kim says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:46 pm

    Making time

    Reply
  174. Sarah says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:46 pm

    Let me come to you lol

    Reply
  175. Hilary says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:46 pm

    A relaxed body and mind.

    Reply
  176. Rachael says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:55 pm

    When the baby goes to sleep early without a fuss and my so and I can actually talk.

    Reply
  177. Andrea Palmer says:
    February 14, 2014 at 6:57 pm

    making sure i have water for nursing sessions on hand, offering to change diapers, helping with meal prep…. it all goes a long way!

    Reply
  178. Cydnee Pletcher says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    A shower all by myself gets me in the mood almost instantly haha!

    Reply
  179. Nicole says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:01 pm

    My husband helping out around the house or with the kids.

    Reply
  180. Ally says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:03 pm

    A relaxing massage and lots of wine.

    Reply
  181. Anna Q says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:04 pm

    When the baby is sleeping after a relaxing day without any crying…

    Reply
  182. Leslie Mayol says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:04 pm

    Seeing him clean the house or wash the dishes or play with the kids…

    Reply
  183. Courtney Morgan says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:08 pm

    when my hubby is extra thoughtful or does something without being asked LoL

    Reply
  184. Christina says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:09 pm

    The best is being rested and then able to take a long shower!

    Reply
  185. Rebekah says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:15 pm

    Being relaxed.

    Reply
  186. libby says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    in general, helping me out with the baby during the day without being asked!

    Reply
  187. Heather Oaster says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    A good night’s sleep and my husband helping out with our little one. (:

    Reply
  188. Amy Hegwood says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    What puts me in the mood is both kids in bed asleep, the house clean, and I’m still awake! Lol

    Reply
  189. Katie K says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:20 pm

    When my husband cleans the house without me asking or helps extra with the kids so I can relax is what puts me in the mood!

    Reply
  190. katyjane says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:22 pm

    Alcohol, a hot shower, and a lock on my bedroom door!

    Reply
  191. Lindsay Graham says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:23 pm

    Time and touch (not necessarily sensual)

    Reply
  192. Jennifer Hubbs says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:24 pm

    My husband offering to help with with things around the house- dishes, laundry, or cleaning the bathroom!! 🙂

    Reply
  193. Meredith says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:27 pm

    thank you for this.. really! Gives me hope 🙂

    Reply
  194. Sarah K says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:29 pm

    Touch

    Reply
  195. sarah Kankiewicz says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:31 pm

    It differs for me. I have PCOS so when my hormones are in alignment backrubs, cuddling, pron movies, ext work wonders. But when I’m all wacked out hubby can try everything and still nothing works! Poor man :/

    Reply
  196. Maureen G. says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:33 pm

    My hubby puts me in the mood when he makes our little one laugh out loud and gets down on the floor to play like a total goof ball with him. Also when he takes the initiative to put him to sleep (as it often has to be me nursing him) and when he puts the diapers in the dryer and then folds them and puts them away without me realizing. 🙂

    Reply
  197. Kendra Owen says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    A nice back rub from my husband!

    Reply
  198. Meredith says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    nothing right now 🙁 7weeks PP and still healing

    Reply
  199. Kara smith says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    A really good passionate kiss…

    Reply
  200. Christy says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:38 pm

    I don’t like to plan. I love when he surprises me and reaches across the bed to caress me.

    Reply
  201. Tiffany C says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:40 pm

    Everything you said in #10, 14, & 16

    Reply
  202. Jenny Otting says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:43 pm

    I get in the mood when my husband kisses me and gives me compliments.

    Reply
  203. Grace G says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:43 pm

    Getting sleep and feeling like an equal partner-when my hubby takes time to do things I would normally do.

    Reply
  204. Zina says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:46 pm

    A sleeping baby and back massage

    Reply
  205. Ami says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:47 pm

    When he makes me laugh.

    Reply
  206. andrea kleist says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:48 pm

    What puts me in the mood is when the kids are in bed and I have time to unwind.

    Reply
  207. beth says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:50 pm

    Take it slow. Use lots of lube and plenty of foreplay. Have fun together.

    I cant wait for the mommycon event we have our tickets and am looking forward to this topic.

    Reply
  208. Mary Bushling says:
    February 14, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    Intimacy prior to actually sex is what helps keep our marriage interesting.

    Reply
  209. Laura Vara says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    I haven´t really had a baby yet to share tips, but I love reading what other people say so I can be prepared and would assume that good communication is the key. I am lucky that I have a very understanding and loving husband who gets creative and we always enjoy ourselves and I am sure that will be until we get so old we can barely move, lol. (I HOPE) Great blog post.

    Reply
  210. Laura Vara says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    Oh by the way, what sets us in mood is the music. Somehow it is always the music and joking around earlier. We are a goofy couple and I guess that´s part of why we love each other so much.

    Reply
  211. Genevieve O. says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    First time mom here, due in May. It’s helpful to hear these tips now! Than you for sharing, ladies!

    Reply
  212. Sarah K says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    Wine and low lighting.

    Reply
  213. Betsy says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:09 pm

    A good night’s sleep

    Reply
  214. Amber says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    When my hubby takes me out for a date and I’m not distracted with other stuff we need to do at home

    Reply
  215. Debbie says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    Sleep!

    Reply
  216. Emmalee k says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:21 pm

    I’m not totally sure of this, I do like when my hubs makes intriguing comments & cute/sexy glances 🙂

    Reply
  217. serena says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:24 pm

    #7 is a big one for me – never thought I’d say it but having the dishes done and a clean-ish house helps me get in the mood.

    Reply
  218. Rebekka m says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    My husband puts me in the mood, ear nibbles are the best!!

    Reply
  219. Emily r says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    A nice back massage.

    Reply
  220. Thera says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    Still working on getting our “adult” lives back but I guess we figured it out enough as baby #2 is due in July.

    Reply
  221. Tate says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:37 pm

    Dancing!

    Reply
  222. casey r says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:42 pm

    having time when i know there won’t be a kid interrupting us… like when i put on a movie for them 😉

    Reply
  223. c. says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:43 pm

    Having had enough time to myself to unwind and relax.

    Reply
  224. Alyson Atkins says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:45 pm

    What puts me in the mood is when I am allowed to have a nap and a shower alone.

    Reply
  225. Nikki says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    Finding some “me” time or getting to catch up on sleep. Then a sleeping baby – and anytime I get to relax and affection like a massage.

    Reply
  226. dorothy says:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:57 pm

    being relaxed and not being asked for it

    Reply
  227. Aimee says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    Being well rested? I’d say it doesn’t so much put me in the mood as facilitate being in one, but essential nonetheless.

    Reply
  228. Lauren says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:09 pm

    Sleep!

    Reply
  229. Laura Winstead says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    My husband is amazingly supportive. Usually post him changing her after a good nursing time is when the baby is happy and swings herself to sweet while we do our married people stuff. My tip? ALWAYS love on your husband for the being the amazing dad he is. Most any man can father a child only the amazing ones are dads.

    Reply
  230. Shauna says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    Good kiss and the right touch.

    Reply
  231. Sasha says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:14 pm

    Sleep! When I am too tired I just can’t get in the mood.

    Reply
  232. Sarah says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:16 pm

    In the mood….nice massage and kisses!

    Reply
  233. Katherine says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:18 pm

    Warm bath, glass of wine, patience and taking it slow.

    Reply
  234. Asha says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:20 pm

    My significant other and I are very open about sex. I’m turned on by a bit of verbal sexual aggression. I like that he’ll come in the room and just tell me that he wants it right then and there, honestly, I usually want it just as bad!

    Reply
  235. Laura Carr says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:25 pm

    What puts me in the mood? A foot massage!

    Reply
  236. Erica says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:30 pm

    Having a supportive partner

    Reply
  237. Jessica Anne says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:36 pm

    His smile

    Reply
  238. lana says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:36 pm

    having him getting up to the baby at night helps to catch up on your rest

    Reply
  239. Amanda says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:39 pm

    Just being with my husband and knowing he works so hard to provide for our family and to make me happy.

    Reply
  240. Sarah S says:
    February 14, 2014 at 9:52 pm

    Space, no one touching me for a while, and a little help with my miles-long to-do list.

    Reply
  241. Jennifer Hensley says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:08 pm

    Kids in bed and kisses on the neck

    Reply
  242. Amy Kat Cooper says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:19 pm

    A kind gesture (putting the babies to bed while I take some time to relax, comes to mind!) always puts me in the mood!

    Reply
  243. suzanne says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:23 pm

    Just being cleaned, showered, and well rested.

    Reply
  244. Amy Perkins says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:25 pm

    I think what does the most is getting some quiet time!

    Reply
  245. Amber L. says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:34 pm

    When my husband helps with dishes and housework!

    Reply
  246. Kristen V says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:46 pm

    A back rub

    Reply
  247. jessamyn says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:49 pm

    kids asleep, hubby not!

    Reply
  248. jessica fletcher says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    What puts me in the mood is sleeping baby and a glass of wine!

    Reply
  249. Courtney says:
    February 14, 2014 at 10:56 pm

    Flirting and affection.

    Reply
  250. Somdad Vang says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:02 pm

    A good nights rest & the time to relax.

    Reply
  251. Simone Ariri says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:06 pm

    a little extra attention/affection, cuddling without the expectation of sex goes a long way for me.

    Reply
  252. ldoepker says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:26 pm

    When my husband comes be hind me and just little tockes my neck and arm

    Reply
  253. Michele Rodocker says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:29 pm

    Good ol’ fashion kissing puts me in the mood. Even when I think I’m too tired, or not in the mood. He starts kissing on me and doesn’t stop and bam! I’m ready to go!

    Reply
  254. Andreea Talpos says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:31 pm

    I tend to get in the mood when the hubby helps around the house and with the baby and makes me feel appreciated

    Reply
  255. Amanda H says:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:50 pm

    My husband making an extra effort to be sweet or help me with the kids, around the house, etc. puts me in the mood

    Reply
  256. Nicole U says:
    February 15, 2014 at 12:13 am

    Flirting! Thanks for the chance to win 🙂

    Reply
  257. Megan says:
    February 15, 2014 at 12:15 am

    Having some time to myself before sex.

    Reply
  258. sarah says:
    February 15, 2014 at 12:29 am

    I wish I knew. It’s a rough thing for us right now.

    Reply
  259. One Southern Girl says:
    February 15, 2014 at 12:34 am

    Don’t know yet… 🙂

    Reply
  260. Madison C. says:
    February 15, 2014 at 1:00 am

    What puts me in the mood is when my husband compliments me.

    Reply
  261. Bethanie H says:
    February 15, 2014 at 1:21 am

    When my husband spends time with the kids, helps me out around the house without me feeling like I have to nah him to take out the trash, and when he flirts with me.

    Reply
  262. Chelsea Mitchell says:
    February 15, 2014 at 2:23 am

    A massage these days turns up the heat!

    Reply
  263. Araceli Abrego says:
    February 15, 2014 at 2:32 am

    I get in the mood when my husband tells me he loves me and just hugs me with out asking for something in return!

    Reply
  264. Joanne L. says:
    February 15, 2014 at 2:45 am

    What turns me on, other than my husband helping out at home, is reading erotica. I’ve got to imagine sexy things to help get in the mood.

    Reply
  265. Margaret Kaira says:
    February 15, 2014 at 2:57 am

    A good nights sleep, a quiet house,baby sleeping deeply!!!

    Reply
  266. Amanda Burkholder says:
    February 15, 2014 at 3:41 am

    Make time for each other. Go on a date atleast once a month to get your alone adult time with each other.

    Reply
  267. Kaitlyn says:
    February 15, 2014 at 4:16 am

    Time! Energy! Kids sleeping!

    Reply
  268. Emily tyler says:
    February 15, 2014 at 4:33 am

    Great

    Reply
  269. Kerri says:
    February 15, 2014 at 4:39 am

    A little foreplay always puts me in the mood!

    Reply
  270. Amber Alexander says:
    February 15, 2014 at 5:18 am

    These days, sleep!

    Reply
  271. Patti Daniel says:
    February 15, 2014 at 5:50 am

    Getting help around the house. When I’m happy and not so tired, I’m ready to go!

    Reply
  272. Brittany says:
    February 15, 2014 at 7:02 am

    I am so glad you touched on people forcing their significant others. I have not ever experienced that with my husband but have in the past and I cannot imagine it after a baby.

    Reply
  273. Joie B says:
    February 15, 2014 at 7:15 am

    Hormone surge with 3rd trimester so pretty much everything hubby does lol

    Reply
  274. Kelle says:
    February 15, 2014 at 7:18 am

    I am in the mood when I am not tired…lol…so if I can fit in a small nap during the day to be rested that helps! 🙂

    Reply
  275. laraleigh says:
    February 15, 2014 at 7:19 am

    Flirting, sexy texts, etc really help me know my husband is in the mood and helps me be there too.

    Reply
  276. jessika says:
    February 15, 2014 at 7:22 am

    Honestly, it is best for me if my husband is in the mood during the day, before I’m exhausted during our baby’s daytime nap. We are working on trying to get on a more similar schedule, which is hard during his last semester before graduating. We are doing pretty well, as long as we don’t procrastinate.. lol.

    Reply
  277. Elinor says:
    February 15, 2014 at 7:25 am

    Love this article, I am definitely going to use these ideas. Unfortunately I don’t have any tips of my own as this has been a great struggle for me and my husband ;(

    Reply
    1. Elinor says:
      February 15, 2014 at 7:29 am

      The tip I liked most however is that one needs to realize that availability is not what it once was!!

      Reply
  278. rachel smith says:
    February 15, 2014 at 7:59 am

    a sleeping baby

    Reply
  279. Katie L says:
    February 15, 2014 at 8:06 am

    LOTS of flirting is definitely a big turn-on for me. Also sexy kisses on the back of the neck. 🙂

    Reply
  280. Angela says:
    February 15, 2014 at 8:22 am

    My husband.period. he is wonderful at this.

    Reply
  281. Ashley T says:
    February 15, 2014 at 8:43 am

    Foreplay

    Reply
  282. april lechwar says:
    February 15, 2014 at 8:47 am

    Kissing always does the trick

    Reply
  283. Michelle S. says:
    February 15, 2014 at 9:28 am

    massages!

    Reply
  284. tabatha says:
    February 15, 2014 at 9:37 am

    what puts me in the mood — simple sweetness.. brush my hair out of my face, back rub any kind of contact 🙂 although most of the time you just fit it in when you can! lol 🙂

    Reply
  285. Lindsay H says:
    February 15, 2014 at 9:40 am

    Seeing my husband in super sweet “daddy mode” definitely turns me on lol. Like when he is rocking a baby and singing lullabies?!? Swoon.

    Reply
  286. christine k says:
    February 15, 2014 at 9:48 am

    Currently, nothing. Absolutely nothing. I get pissed when DH even wants anything. If it’s more than a hug, I don’t want anything to do with it… including kisses. Poor guy.

    Reply
  287. Marie berlongieri says:
    February 15, 2014 at 9:50 am

    My husband puts me in the mood

    Reply
  288. Yuhwen says:
    February 15, 2014 at 9:52 am

    Not being exhausted and having time to romance novels.

    Reply
  289. Jen Leonard says:
    February 15, 2014 at 9:56 am

    Snuggles with my hubby!

    Reply
  290. Carly Brown says:
    February 15, 2014 at 10:06 am

    A nice relaxing massage from my partner does the trick.

    Reply
  291. Jessica Hughes says:
    February 15, 2014 at 10:08 am

    Right now? Nothing, sadly. Though being silly and laughing with my husband works better than anything, typically. =)

    Reply
  292. Ashley says:
    February 15, 2014 at 10:10 am

    Talking about it for as long as possible and what we want seems to do the trick 🙂

    Reply
  293. Kim says:
    February 15, 2014 at 10:15 am

    What puts me in the mood? Ugh, not much at nearly 32 weeks pregnant these days! A nice back rub and a clean house that wasn’t cleaned by me would probably be his ideal place to start, if I want to sound like a cliche though.

    Reply
  294. SB says:
    February 15, 2014 at 10:34 am

    Sharing quiet time with my husband that is filled with sweet, soft, and gentle caressing does it for me.

    Reply
  295. Pauline W says:
    February 15, 2014 at 10:47 am

    Being well rested and not stressed puts me in the mood

    Reply
  296. krystal says:
    February 15, 2014 at 11:07 am

    Insomnia puts me in the mood 😛

    Reply
  297. C. Crump says:
    February 15, 2014 at 11:09 am

    Deleting stress- clean house, a sleeping baby, time to think and be alone for a few minutes

    Reply
  298. Brianne says:
    February 15, 2014 at 11:19 am

    I agree you can’t force it. I feel like after our first I had a hard time being comfortable with my bodies changes but now after 3 kids we have the best sex life we have ever had.

    Reply
  299. Heather Mendez says:
    February 15, 2014 at 11:28 am

    Go very very slow after,and lots of lubrication 🙂

    Reply
  300. Alex says:
    February 15, 2014 at 11:38 am

    great article! We are expecting our first in a few short weeks and this is something that we’ve talked about a lot. Thanks for the tips and advice!

    Reply
  301. Jana Inkpen says:
    February 15, 2014 at 11:42 am

    Patience

    Reply
  302. Bonnie says:
    February 15, 2014 at 11:44 am

    Kissing

    Reply
  303. Lucy S says:
    February 15, 2014 at 11:45 am

    Sometimes just a nice relaxing day together is enough!

    Reply
  304. Jacy says:
    February 15, 2014 at 11:48 am

    Alone time with my husband. It’s very hard to get when he works nights.

    Reply
  305. Cristin says:
    February 15, 2014 at 11:49 am

    Great tips! Flirting all day is great for us!

    Reply
  306. Amanda Mita says:
    February 15, 2014 at 11:54 am

    Time together!

    Reply
  307. Beth P. says:
    February 15, 2014 at 12:11 pm

    A night out.

    Reply
  308. Ashley Marie Smith says:
    February 15, 2014 at 12:23 pm

    Hehe wine 😉

    Reply
  309. Michelle S. says:
    February 15, 2014 at 12:24 pm

    I’m most excited about the cosleeper and the milkmakers!!

    Reply
  310. Mary Catherine White says:
    February 15, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    When my husband shows me how sexy he thinks I still am

    Reply
  311. Rachel says:
    February 15, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    I think some of the great answers such as sleep and wine are exactly what I’d need!

    Reply
  312. Amber S says:
    February 15, 2014 at 1:11 pm

    Gentle loving kisses <3

    Reply
  313. Allison says:
    February 15, 2014 at 1:40 pm

    Help with the baby. Help clean up. Give me a massage. Make me feel loved. Pick one!

    Reply
  314. Nora says:
    February 15, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    Touching without the expectation of lovin’

    Reply
  315. lisa gonzalez says:
    February 15, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    To be in the mood I need the kids in bed quick and the baby asleep and I have to NOT be exhausted. Seriously that’s all I need. Haha

    Reply
  316. Grace Weed says:
    February 15, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    My sexy husband puts me in the mood…always!!

    Reply
  317. Devyn says:
    February 15, 2014 at 2:53 pm

    Flirting! My favorite thing is flirting with my husband all day, just little things, and then finally getting to be with him at the end of the day. The build up makes it fun 🙂

    Reply
  318. Maggie says:
    February 15, 2014 at 3:02 pm

    Feeling like a women and not a SAHM in pajamas. A nice date out with no kids.

    Reply
  319. Regina Wright says:
    February 15, 2014 at 3:14 pm

    A good massage after a hot bath.

    Reply
  320. danielle jones says:
    February 15, 2014 at 3:18 pm

    I am about 10months PP and have gotten almost my full libido back, so it can be anything small like a kiss in the right spot to get me ‘there’.

    Reply
  321. Ashley says:
    February 15, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    All of these! It always helps!

    Reply
  322. Melissa Decroteau says:
    February 15, 2014 at 4:08 pm

    Just being relaxed and having some time

    Reply
  323. maxine says:
    February 15, 2014 at 4:14 pm

    Good post! Give us all a little bit of hope 🙂

    Reply
  324. Lauren says:
    February 15, 2014 at 5:00 pm

    What puts me in the mood? When he tries to woo me. Flirting, touch, and alone time go a long way with me!

    Reply
  325. Kaleena L. says:
    February 15, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    Going slow. Foreplay. Laughing. Enjoying each other’s comment and really being in the moment. Ooh la la! 😉

    Reply
  326. rebecca lopez says:
    February 15, 2014 at 5:03 pm

    when he compliments me, or when baby is sleeping and we can just lay together and kiss

    Reply
  327. Anna Pry says:
    February 15, 2014 at 5:03 pm

    I get in the mood when the house is clean and the kids are happily playing together, even better if hubby helped me make that happen

    Reply
  328. Katy G says:
    February 15, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    Definitely flirting throughout the day. It’s the best!!

    Reply
  329. Amy Li says:
    February 15, 2014 at 6:01 pm

    Having a husband who is a true partner.

    Reply
  330. Jennifer Shull says:
    February 15, 2014 at 6:11 pm

    Just having enough sleep.

    Reply
  331. Rachel Kate says:
    February 15, 2014 at 6:49 pm

    Having a shower and a good night’s sleep definitely helps. Not having little ones trying to share our bed makes it even better.

    Reply
  332. Hanna J says:
    February 15, 2014 at 7:32 pm

    What puts me in a mood is when I feel sexy about myself and when i put sexy lingerie under the clothes

    Reply
  333. Liana W. says:
    February 15, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    We’ve struggled after our second baby. He’s 5.5 months now, and I still have a hard time giving myself to my husband. (My hormones/emotions are a lot more jumbled than with our first.) One thing that is pretty necessary for me right now, is him starting the foreplay and being patient.

    Reply
  334. Tina says:
    February 15, 2014 at 8:38 pm

    a back rub, especially when given just because with no expectations

    Reply
  335. Jessi says:
    February 15, 2014 at 8:43 pm

    Snuggling with out sexy touching,making out and or just spending actual time together with no technology!

    Reply
  336. Erin says:
    February 15, 2014 at 9:11 pm

    Feeling understood, heard

    Reply
  337. Sara says:
    February 15, 2014 at 9:28 pm

    When he tells me how sexy he thinks I am.

    Reply
  338. Lauren says:
    February 15, 2014 at 9:56 pm

    drinking a glass of wine really helps me not be so concerned about all the other things going on around thehouse

    Reply
  339. Nicole says:
    February 15, 2014 at 9:59 pm

    Full body massage.

    Reply
  340. Emily A says:
    February 15, 2014 at 10:12 pm

    When he helps around the house and gives me much needed time to decompress.

    Reply
  341. Thuy says:
    February 15, 2014 at 10:36 pm

    When my husband is being really sweet!!! 🙂

    Reply
  342. kerri says:
    February 15, 2014 at 11:01 pm

    Having the hubby go above and beyond in little ways (like bring home dinner without me asking or running out the trash/recycling).

    Reply
  343. Susan sumner says:
    February 15, 2014 at 11:24 pm

    And all this time I thought I was alone on this

    Reply
  344. Juliana says:
    February 15, 2014 at 11:47 pm

    Wine, but only when very well rested and when I’m nice n smooth, legs shaved etc. lol

    Reply
  345. Esther says:
    February 16, 2014 at 2:09 am

    my husband

    Reply
  346. Riley Romatz says:
    February 16, 2014 at 3:27 am

    A nice scalp massage… My favorite!

    Reply
  347. Cindy B says:
    February 16, 2014 at 3:58 am

    My hubby spending time with our boys, bonus if it’s so I can rest or do something I enjoy.

    Reply
  348. Lauren N says:
    February 16, 2014 at 7:33 am

    Wine and chocolate is always nice!!

    Reply
  349. JJ says:
    February 16, 2014 at 9:42 am

    Massage from my husband and wine.

    Reply
  350. Heidi says:
    February 16, 2014 at 10:55 am

    When I’m not tired or stressed! So a break helps!

    Reply
  351. Savannah Logan says:
    February 16, 2014 at 1:15 pm

    I’m still at the point where all my husband has to do is walk into a room, crack a smile and I’m already melting.
    newly weds (:

    Reply
  352. Taleisha says:
    February 16, 2014 at 5:24 pm

    Knowing that my partner loves me and is “with” me.

    Reply
  353. Monica* says:
    February 16, 2014 at 5:24 pm

    Having quiet time together after the kids are in bed and also flirting during the day and during the madness of getting home, cleaning up, cooking dinner, playing with the kids and the bedtime routine. Knowing we will have some fun after we make it through. )If we make it through awake that is! 😉 )

    Reply
  354. jennifer a. says:
    February 16, 2014 at 6:16 pm

    We struggled before baby. She’s 9 mos old and we have yet to be physical again. What turns me on is when he turns off his anxiety and work-mind, showing me his gooey feelings and being vulnerable. Hopefully, we’ll find a balance and time and connection we need to get busy. Whee!

    Reply
  355. Sonia says:
    February 16, 2014 at 6:28 pm

    A massage always works

    Reply
  356. Lily says:
    February 16, 2014 at 6:31 pm

    Sounds weird but a nice quit night that is stress free calms me down and that’s when I can get in the mood

    Reply
  357. Candice farrell says:
    February 16, 2014 at 6:52 pm

    When my husband is really in the mood 🙂 that means he really wants me

    Reply
  358. Melyn Henderson says:
    February 16, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    When the baby is asleep and the house is semi-clean!

    Reply
  359. Katie says:
    February 16, 2014 at 7:28 pm

    Him being present. He’s great at playing with the kids, but usually shuts off emotionally at the end of the day.

    Reply
  360. Elinor says:
    February 16, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    When my husband compliments me in general and also on my mothering of our son !!

    Reply
  361. TG says:
    February 16, 2014 at 7:39 pm

    spending time together connecting.

    Reply
  362. Julie says:
    February 16, 2014 at 7:42 pm

    I need sweet touches during the day to help me get in the mood. Then once the kids are sleeping, we can focus on each other.

    Reply
  363. Chanda says:
    February 16, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    When my husband helps with housework/laundry/cooking! It is such a relief to be reminded that I am not in this alone!

    Reply
  364. Eva Lepe says:
    February 16, 2014 at 8:06 pm

    Spend time alone with my hubby

    Reply
  365. Chrissy says:
    February 16, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    Both babies sleeping while my hubs is home!

    Reply
  366. marie says:
    February 16, 2014 at 8:57 pm

    a good night’s sleep and a shower with no one banging on the door 🙂

    Reply
  367. Alicia says:
    February 16, 2014 at 9:34 pm

    What puts me in the mood? It varies day to day, but one thing that will usually do it is knowing that he’s in the mood… a touch, smile, comment from him to let me know he’s interested.

    Reply
  368. Courtney F says:
    February 16, 2014 at 9:40 pm

    A glass or two of wine, and a sweet massage from hubby help me out 🙂

    Reply
  369. Corinne says:
    February 16, 2014 at 9:43 pm

    A clean house and a happy baby!

    Reply
  370. Joey Wright says:
    February 16, 2014 at 10:04 pm

    Helping my wife put lotion on. A great massage.

    Reply
  371. Grace Sorparu says:
    February 16, 2014 at 10:05 pm

    Some wine and getting my back scratched

    Reply
  372. Taylor says:
    February 16, 2014 at 11:10 pm

    Dirty talking and an all over massage do the trick for me, especially when combined

    Reply
  373. Stephanie says:
    February 17, 2014 at 12:12 am

    When my husband is supportive, affectionate and loving I’m in the mood. 🙂

    Reply
  374. Jennifer says:
    February 17, 2014 at 12:43 am

    naptime! haha no seriously. knowing that my husband is still attracted to me and that we have uninterrupted time to enjoy each other can put me in the mood instantly…. unless im in ‘DO’ mode, then it takes a backrub!

    Reply
  375. Elizabeth C says:
    February 17, 2014 at 1:09 am

    Honestly, I’m pretty much always in the mood. I’ve always had a very healthy libido, but I also have nearly zero self-esteem so it is hard for me to express my feelings. And my husband and I tend to be slightly out of sync with our drives and that has been made worse by having children because of timing issues. That and my deep and controlling fear that I’m just, for lack of a better way to put it, not good at it. :/

    Reply
  376. Maria says:
    February 17, 2014 at 10:27 am

    It was hard to get used to keeping my mind off baby!

    Reply
  377. Jennifer C says:
    February 17, 2014 at 10:37 am

    I’m not really sure. Sometimes it just happens. Sometimes its just when he’s being really nice.

    Reply
  378. Jennifer says:
    February 17, 2014 at 11:00 am

    A good night’s sleep is more likely to put me in the mood than a long day with the kids.

    Reply
  379. Natalie says:
    February 17, 2014 at 11:17 am

    A night of good sleep. 🙂

    Reply
  380. Megan M says:
    February 17, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    Hugs, cuddles, and feeling like I’ve been a supportive wife can all put me in the mood.

    Reply
  381. Madison says:
    February 17, 2014 at 12:30 pm

    My husband and I have been struggling with this lately. What I have found helps is to just stop stressing and bugging each other about it and let it happen naturally. It is much more enjoyable.

    Reply
  382. Caroline says:
    February 17, 2014 at 12:44 pm

    Wine 😉

    Reply
  383. Abby Carter says:
    February 17, 2014 at 12:44 pm

    Laughing with my husband puts me in the mood.

    Reply
  384. Michelle E says:
    February 17, 2014 at 12:47 pm

    Not being afraid. I need to talk myself into it at first bc I am still uncomfortable after giving birth.

    Reply
  385. Kristin mcclain says:
    February 17, 2014 at 12:48 pm

    Cuddling and spending alone time with my husband is turn on enough!

    Reply
  386. Priscilla says:
    February 17, 2014 at 12:55 pm

    I think wine helps lol.. But flirting and help around the house also helps.

    Reply
  387. Tyler Marie Check says:
    February 17, 2014 at 1:01 pm

    Usually something steamy on tv after a good day together

    Reply
  388. Alison says:
    February 17, 2014 at 1:04 pm

    Figuring out what time works for you and your husband. If things get started at night and one is too tired, rest and try again in the morning before baby gets up! It makes it easier when you’re both ready and rested.

    Reply
  389. Tressa says:
    February 17, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    When he does the dishes and cleans the house for me 🙂

    Reply
  390. tina says:
    February 17, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    Flirting and communication are huge! Going and sitting on the couch to watch tv while I take care of our daughter definitely would not help things!

    Reply
  391. Kara says:
    February 17, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    Definitely feel rested, and not stressed.

    Reply
  392. Sarah N says:
    February 17, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    Cuddling, laughing together.

    Reply
  393. Sarah Feliu says:
    February 17, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    There is this certain look my hubby gets when he looks at me..it gets me going every time!

    Reply
  394. Isabella says:
    February 17, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    Thank you for impatience and forcing!! I’ve been told that you should just do it too but never understood that. Also like that comment about using coconut oil! 😉

    Reply
  395. Kaitlin says:
    February 17, 2014 at 1:34 pm

    I’m in the mood when my husband helps around the house and with our son, so I’m not completely exhausted 🙂 We also try and have a sense of humor about everything.

    Reply
  396. Christy says:
    February 17, 2014 at 1:55 pm

    A hot bath & a long massage. ❤️

    Reply
  397. Bekah says:
    February 17, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    A passionate kiss. Always gets me in the mood.

    Reply
  398. tonia says:
    February 17, 2014 at 2:09 pm

    Honestly, attention from my husband. “How was your day?” can go a long way, since most conversations are about money, kids, schedules, his job, etc…

    Reply
  399. Amber says:
    February 17, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    Getting date nights again (after 4mos postpartum) has really helped us get into the mood. Having fun and laughing together!

    Reply
  400. megan basore says:
    February 17, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    What puts me in the mood would be my husband making me feel beautiful.

    Reply
  401. Sarah says:
    February 17, 2014 at 2:40 pm

    Being wanted and him wanting to give me a massage and just wanting to make me feel good.

    Reply
  402. Erin says:
    February 17, 2014 at 3:31 pm

    Love the article. Patience was what helped us.

    Reply
  403. Holly says:
    February 17, 2014 at 4:08 pm

    Quality time .

    Reply
  404. Victoria Salcedo says:
    February 17, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    A clean house puts me in the mood! I’ll settle for a clean room though… lol

    Reply
  405. Krista White says:
    February 17, 2014 at 4:55 pm

    My favorite is masturbation! So many people feel awkward about this topic, but it’s helped my boyfriend and I a lot since he is gone most of the time.

    Reply
  406. Sea Monkey Mama says:
    February 17, 2014 at 5:31 pm

    So many great points, Leaky B@@b!! I second the comment above about lube in general and coconut oil specifically (unless condoms are your go-to birth control method…. DO NOT use coconut oil in that case!!). Sex after babies has certainly been a challenge for us, and we’re still working on it. Intentionality and space have been the number 1 helps in that arena.

    Reply
  407. Melanie M. says:
    February 17, 2014 at 5:36 pm

    A glass of wine and a good back rub go a looooong way.

    Reply
  408. Sarah Stroh Thornton says:
    February 17, 2014 at 6:57 pm

    having 15 minutes to myself in the shower first. Mostly to relax and think about my husband. Its a transition from being mom all day.

    Reply
    1. Ashley says:
      February 21, 2014 at 8:13 pm

      Good idea

      Reply
  409. Tiffany says:
    February 17, 2014 at 7:48 pm

    Good sleep, back rub, being silly together.

    Reply
  410. Katie F says:
    February 17, 2014 at 8:57 pm

    When he helps with house work. LOL!

    Reply
  411. joley says:
    February 17, 2014 at 9:36 pm

    A clean house 🙂

    Reply
  412. Jenn says:
    February 17, 2014 at 9:57 pm

    When I get helped around the house or told thank you. It doesn’t take much.

    Reply
  413. Kristine L says:
    February 17, 2014 at 10:13 pm

    what puts me in the mood is flirtation and foreplay.

    Reply
  414. Nicole Maxwell says:
    February 17, 2014 at 10:21 pm

    I really enjoy when my husband and I flirt throughout the day, which may or may not end up leading to sex but more often than not it does. I think it helps build up that anticipation for each other over the course of the day so when you actually get the time to be with one another you can’t keep your hands off of each other.

    Reply
  415. A.G. says:
    February 17, 2014 at 10:33 pm

    reliable birth control

    Reply
  416. Bianca hinksman says:
    February 17, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    When the baby is asleep, the house is clean and my husband and I are snuggled on the couch watching a movie <3

    Reply
  417. Cassandra Eastman says:
    February 18, 2014 at 12:17 am

    There’s something sexy about a serious man… or when he helps with housework it definitely gets me in the mood!

    Reply
  418. Samantha says:
    February 18, 2014 at 3:30 am

    When my hubby is super sweet with our daughter and spends quality time with her

    Reply
  419. Veronica nunez says:
    February 18, 2014 at 4:14 am

    My trusty vibrator. Humor. Patience. In order of importance for us in sex after baby. Always takes the edge off especially when interrupted by a stirring baby.

    Reply
  420. Terry Maigi says:
    February 18, 2014 at 7:35 am

    My husband helping with our little girl, doing dishes or laundry etc!

    Reply
  421. kambria pruitt says:
    February 18, 2014 at 8:58 am

    When I come home from work and the house is clean and dinner is made puts me in the mood for sure!

    Reply
  422. Jessica says:
    February 18, 2014 at 9:02 am

    Coconut oil, wine, and having hubby help me with the kids. That way we both have a little energy at the end of the day.

    Reply
  423. Jessica says:
    February 18, 2014 at 9:03 am

    I find my husband the sexiest when he is helping me with things around the house so that I can focus on the kids.

    Reply
  424. CHRISTINA LUTZ says:
    February 18, 2014 at 9:03 am

    I am in my third trimester and my libido is in over drive…. (weird i know!) so pretty much anything. especially when he cleans or helps with the kids. 🙂

    Reply
  425. Kandace Odom says:
    February 18, 2014 at 9:07 am

    Idk.. I’m m 24 weeks with baby #3 and have no drive I feel so distant..

    Reply
  426. Amanda says:
    February 18, 2014 at 9:17 am

    Plan ahead! It can be sexy and give you something to look forward to all day long.

    Reply
  427. pamela hanson says:
    February 18, 2014 at 9:30 am

    Him helping around the house when its needed most. Or keeping the kids out of my haor ao I can finish dinner.

    Reply
  428. Allison B says:
    February 18, 2014 at 9:41 am

    No housework hanging over my head and some heavy petting from the hubby.

    Reply
  429. Tiffany says:
    February 18, 2014 at 9:41 am

    Being in a relaxed state of mind.

    Reply
  430. Sarah Doremus says:
    February 18, 2014 at 9:43 am

    My tip is be gentle with yourself; don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t go according to plan the first few times. Just enjoy the closeness with your partner and let that time be a relaxing, emotionally and romantically recharging and reconnecting time, sex or not.

    Reply
  431. Bridget Stevens says:
    February 18, 2014 at 9:44 am

    What helps for me is when he is really “in the moment” with our son. I find him more and more attractive when he is simply being a good father.

    Reply
  432. Sarah Doremus says:
    February 18, 2014 at 9:45 am

    What puts me in the mood? When my hubby acts super lovey and affectionate!!

    Reply
  433. Laura says:
    February 18, 2014 at 9:52 am

    The sweet touch of my amazing husband.

    Reply
  434. Lynsey Knisely says:
    February 18, 2014 at 10:07 am

    A hot shower (alone) and a back rub

    Reply
  435. Kiira says:
    February 18, 2014 at 10:08 am

    I have a 6month old and have found it very difficult to plan ahead. Sex before our baby was frequent and spontaneous . . . Now it almost seems forced. Great points on finding time apart. I think that would be a benefit in any relationship.

    Reply
  436. Heather H says:
    February 18, 2014 at 10:10 am

    feeling rested, relaxed and ovulation helps!

    Reply
  437. KP says:
    February 18, 2014 at 10:21 am

    Flirting definitely helps! Sending each other steamy texts all day gets us ready for the night time. 🙂

    Reply
  438. Ashley says:
    February 18, 2014 at 10:27 am

    Cuddling! And a surprise passionate kiss in the middle of the night.

    Reply
  439. Courtney says:
    February 18, 2014 at 10:37 am

    Coconut oil!! Best sex tip out there.

    Reply
  440. Natashia says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:31 am

    When my husband plays with our boys it warms my heart and reminds me why I fell in love with him to begin with. This makes me wanna jump him and try for baby number 3 lol

    Reply
  441. Crystal M says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:57 am

    a massage!

    Reply
  442. Laura says:
    February 18, 2014 at 12:30 pm

    A glass of wine and time alone together to snuggle on the couch

    Reply
  443. Stephanie Drost says:
    February 18, 2014 at 12:30 pm

    When he helps put the kids to bed

    Reply
  444. Jen says:
    February 18, 2014 at 1:37 pm

    Go to bed early! Then you don’t feel rushed and can really enjoy each other without sacrificing sleep! And find a good sitter early on. Nothing beats making out in your car in the parking lot after dinner out!

    Reply
  445. Tricia Maze says:
    February 18, 2014 at 3:04 pm

    Quality time alone with my husband always works for me. We are going to need to find a way to keep up the date nights after this baby is born!

    Reply
  446. Katie says:
    February 18, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    Thank you for posting this. I was very disillusioned to what sex would be like after baby. We’re still working on making it work with a soon to be 11 month old.

    Reply
  447. Aurora P says:
    February 18, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    Wineeee and a good laugh before sex, helps me gee into mood

    Reply
  448. Aurora P says:
    February 18, 2014 at 8:26 pm

    carriers!!!

    Reply
  449. Jeannette says:
    February 18, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    Chores done (dishes, laundry, etc.) and babies asleep usually works….and quality time with the hubs! 🙂

    Reply
  450. Christy I says:
    February 18, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    When my husband cleans so I don’t have to when I get home!

    Reply
  451. Michelle says:
    February 18, 2014 at 9:04 pm

    Thanks for the tips!

    Reply
  452. Rachel Williams says:
    February 18, 2014 at 9:19 pm

    I’m the most turned on when we are just close and there’s no glow from his phone lighting up the room…

    Reply
  453. Kristene says:
    February 18, 2014 at 10:48 pm

    I feel horrible because I never want sex =(

    Reply
  454. Beth S. says:
    February 18, 2014 at 10:48 pm

    Nothing! I have no tips lol. Sex was awful for me until I stopped breastfeeding at 14 months. Hoping it’ll be different next time.

    Reply
  455. Martha says:
    February 18, 2014 at 10:50 pm

    When I really think bout it, what puts me in the mood is when we’re laughing together. I love it when we’re both being silly, joking about similar things, and being goofy. In those moments, I feel like we are so connected – we are enjoying the world together, making inside jokes, truly forming bonds. Those are the moments where it’s so easy to just fall into a kiss which turns into a make out session which leads to…maybe baby number two! 🙂

    Reply
  456. Felicia Walker says:
    February 18, 2014 at 10:51 pm

    Having a husband who loves and appreciates my postpartum body.

    Reply
  457. Desirae says:
    February 18, 2014 at 10:53 pm

    After 6 kids, I think the most important thing is to have a sense of humor!

    Reply
  458. Heather says:
    February 18, 2014 at 10:54 pm

    Sleep, lol!

    Reply
  459. Cassy Julian says:
    February 18, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    Being able to REALLY relax, so even just sleeping in!

    Reply
  460. Megan says:
    February 18, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    I’m usually too tired to be turned on…

    Reply
  461. Ariana R says:
    February 18, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    After I’ve had a nice long shower and the hubby gives me a nice long rub down. That usually does the trick.

    Reply
  462. Maegan W. says:
    February 18, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    When my fiance takes over and I get to take a nice long bath and pretty myself up puts me in the mood (:

    Reply
  463. Samantha Keller says:
    February 18, 2014 at 10:59 pm

    True one on one time is what I need especially since it is so rare with kids around.

    Reply
  464. Amelia B says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:00 pm

    Usually days when my husband has been especially helpful around the house or with the kids. Something about feeling that support and equality in our partnership 🙂

    Reply
  465. Melissa says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:01 pm

    Laughter.

    Reply
  466. Melissa says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:01 pm

    A clean house! Stress free= sexy!

    Reply
  467. Kyle says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:02 pm

    A gentle caress and a whisper in my ear can get me going!

    Reply
  468. Bridget edget Ahm says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:07 pm

    An unexpected back rub from my partner to e ase the tensio of the day

    Reply
  469. Kait b says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:08 pm

    A helpful husband 🙂

    Reply
  470. Jackie G says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:09 pm

    First a good night rest if possible. Cuddling and touching.

    Reply
  471. Allesha says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    Affection thoughout the day

    Reply
  472. Amy says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:12 pm

    What gets me in the mood can differ from time to time. Sometime it isn’t much…just a touch and a kiss. But other times it takes him running a bath for me and a message.

    Reply
  473. Elizabeth Mathis says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:16 pm

    So many things resonated with me. Shame, stress, expectation, intentionality, flirting, breaks, time alone. Wow.

    Reply
  474. Annie Baltzelle says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:18 pm

    Kisses and sleeping children!

    Reply
  475. Violet says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:21 pm

    Be honest about your feelings.

    Reply
  476. Erin M says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:22 pm

    Peace and quiet!

    Reply
  477. Hannah Ballou says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:27 pm

    When he looks at me! I know that I am loved, adored and supported. It turns me on 🙂

    Reply
  478. Melva says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:28 pm

    The point on stress is very true. That is why working out and being active puts me in the mood. It helps me release stress and I feel happier and sexier!

    Reply
  479. Julianne says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:33 pm

    My husband was so patient after our first, he even wanted to wait the extra week (7) to make it special because it fell on Valentines day… We have a sense of humor about sex and sometimes end up cracking up in the middle. Also we co sleep with our 22 mo old and I FINALLY decided to put his (yet unused) crib between our bed and the wall with the side off, so now we just scoot him over after he falls asleep… 🙂 Patience, time, humor and sleepy kids… 🙂 Hubby doing housework while I nurse is a huge plus too!

    Reply
  480. Jessica says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:34 pm

    Feeling appreciated and beautiful puts me in the mood.

    Reply
  481. Sarah says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:34 pm

    Help with anything! Dinner, lunches fir the next day, getting the kids bathed and into bed, reading to our daughter. Anything to help with the stress of the evening routine!

    Reply
  482. Julianne says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:37 pm

    Patience (him), humor, hubby helping around the house, and time alone together

    Reply
  483. Julia says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:40 pm

    Not a lot puts me in the mood these days – 10 month old and 2.5 year old are both very attached to me right now so I’m exhausted & touched out almost always. But – my “love language” is physical touch and I know that I’ll feel more connected afterwards, so…

    Reply
  484. Nicole says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:42 pm

    Hmmm…when you have a toddler who bedshares…probably a free bed and a little foot massage could help get the party started!!

    Reply
  485. Tera Austrum says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:42 pm

    When my husband cleans it gets me in the mood, lol

    Reply
  486. rachyl says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:44 pm

    great article. at this point nothing turns me on lol hope that will change soon

    Reply
  487. Q.A. says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:45 pm

    When DH sees where I need assistance in something and takes over without my mentioning it. HUGE turn on.

    Reply
  488. Jilean chandler says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:48 pm

    When I don’t have to worry about the house/ kids etc

    Reply
  489. Luisa Baginski says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:52 pm

    Nothing seems to these days 🙁

    Reply
  490. Magda says:
    February 18, 2014 at 11:56 pm

    Sleep, sleep, sleep 🙂 Even if it’s just an extra 15 minutes; a longer nap can do wonders! And humor, I love it when my partner makes me laugh, especially at times when I am the most stressed, middle-of-a-temper-tantrum while I am cleaning and cooking at the same time worrying about work and bills–he can make that all go away for a bit 🙂

    Reply
  491. Kara says:
    February 19, 2014 at 12:08 am

    Not much at 37 1/2 weeks pregnant. I’m looking forward to wanting it again in the near(ish) future!

    Reply
  492. Ashlee says:
    February 19, 2014 at 12:16 am

    I honestly don’t know, but husband does no matter how I’m feeling & it amazes me!

    Reply
  493. Melissa M says:
    February 19, 2014 at 12:21 am

    My husband helping around the house !

    Reply
  494. Blayne says:
    February 19, 2014 at 12:27 am

    What puts me in the mood is getting help around the house!

    Reply
  495. Elizabeth T says:
    February 19, 2014 at 12:58 am

    cuddling and sweet compliments

    Reply
  496. Athena says:
    February 19, 2014 at 1:05 am

    Honestly? At this point I’m so sleep deprived nothing puts me in the mood. I’m so exhausted my health had suffered and sex isn’t even on the list of things I want to do.

    Reply
  497. Cora lambert says:
    February 19, 2014 at 1:10 am

    When the house is semi clean, I’ve been payed attention to by my husband ( talking, kissing, touching, etc), the kids are asleep, and don’t hurt or feel sick, then I’m ready for anything.

    Reply
  498. amy w says:
    February 19, 2014 at 1:11 am

    full nights sleep, help cleaning/cooking/child rearing

    Reply
  499. Stephanie says:
    February 19, 2014 at 1:27 am

    Cuddling being intimate without expectations

    Reply
  500. sherelle martin says:
    February 19, 2014 at 1:37 am

    The only way I’m having sex with my fiance now that our son is here is if he uses a condom or I find a good birth control method!!

    Reply
  501. Sheena says:
    February 19, 2014 at 1:47 am

    Biggest tip that works for me is to keep flirting and honest and open communication. As long as both parties are open and accepting of eachother’s needs and position and work together to support meeting those needs everybody wins.

    Reply
  502. Hayley Elliott says:
    February 19, 2014 at 2:02 am

    Having him help with kids or watching him cook dinner. Then hanging out and being close to each other on the couch after everyone else has gone to bed.

    Reply
  503. Katie Hobbs says:
    February 19, 2014 at 2:09 am

    This was really helpful for me, thanks for writing it.

    Reply
  504. Lindsay Chhaya says:
    February 19, 2014 at 2:14 am

    Spending quality time together !

    Reply
  505. Em says:
    February 19, 2014 at 2:33 am

    Being well rested – if you’re too tired to think about sex, then you’re too tired to enjoy it.

    Reply
  506. Katie Hobbs says:
    February 19, 2014 at 2:36 am

    I use a lot of excuses I like how you said not to hide behind them

    Reply
  507. Ruthy Kirwan says:
    February 19, 2014 at 2:56 am

    These days? Sleep and relief from baby duties. And his cute smile 🙂

    Reply
  508. Jammie t says:
    February 19, 2014 at 3:20 am

    Good sleep always puts me in the mood

    Reply
  509. Jenni says:
    February 19, 2014 at 3:50 am

    It’s the little things throughout each day that get me in the mood. Touches, kisses, laughter, teamwork, etc… 🙂

    Reply
  510. Annie says:
    February 19, 2014 at 3:58 am

    My husband made it clear that he expected sex the very moment I got home from my six-week checkup. It kind of killed my enjoyment of it, to have the demand be so high.

    Reply
  511. Anne says:
    February 19, 2014 at 4:11 am

    Snuggling- and getting enough sleep! (Or, let’s face it, any sleep.)

    Reply
  512. Lyla says:
    February 19, 2014 at 4:19 am

    Best turn on is a foot rub before bed, then him grabbing the scrubby from me in the shower. That’ll do it every time.

    Reply
  513. JoAnne G says:
    February 19, 2014 at 5:01 am

    My tip would be to take care of yourself, and feel pretty and sexy again. You need it and deserve it. I know when I haven’t rested and haven’t looked my best, I feel gross and I don’t want to be touched. Pamper yourself or buy some new clothes, workout, just anything that will make you feel great again. Don’t let yourself go just because you have kids and have a busy schedule.

    Reply
  514. Kelsey says:
    February 19, 2014 at 5:14 am

    A clean house 😉

    Reply
  515. Caron B says:
    February 19, 2014 at 5:32 am

    Getting enough sleep and flirting with each other.

    Reply
  516. Erin says:
    February 19, 2014 at 5:34 am

    Patience patience patience

    Reply
  517. Kristy says:
    February 19, 2014 at 5:49 am

    Sleep haha

    Reply
  518. Michaela says:
    February 19, 2014 at 5:55 am

    Date night

    Reply
  519. Rose says:
    February 19, 2014 at 6:16 am

    The dishes done and a sleeping baby.

    Reply
  520. Daniella says:
    February 19, 2014 at 6:20 am

    My idea of a good time these days if sitting on the potty till I run out of lives on candy crush and then taking a hot shower till I run out of hot water. Lol. Hubby knows nothing puts me in the mood quite like a clean kitchen and a folded load of laundry. :o)

    Reply
  521. Sarah W says:
    February 19, 2014 at 6:45 am

    Touching throughout the day.

    Reply
  522. Leah says:
    February 19, 2014 at 6:47 am

    my tip is to take things slow. And to tell your partner was is comfortable and what hurts

    Reply
  523. Ashley says:
    February 19, 2014 at 7:07 am

    Nothing! I wish it did

    Reply
  524. Rebecca says:
    February 19, 2014 at 7:13 am

    For me, getting in the mood is as simple as an innocent gesture from my SO such as a random hug or kiss, in addition to watching how good of a parent he is.

    Reply
  525. Elizabeth says:
    February 19, 2014 at 7:15 am

    Lately it has been the way my husband looks at me and the way he touches me, makes us both feel like pre babies us

    Reply
  526. Sara R says:
    February 19, 2014 at 7:21 am

    Lately nothing…. but being more emotionally connected usually puts me more in the mood

    Reply
  527. Katie lott says:
    February 19, 2014 at 7:25 am

    When my husband does things for me or it appears that he’s thinking about me.

    Reply
  528. Crystal R says:
    February 19, 2014 at 7:34 am

    I don’t have any tips but this really helped me understand a few things & I am forwarding to my husband as well.

    Reply
  529. Stephanie H says:
    February 19, 2014 at 7:35 am

    imbalance is a HUGE problem for us, thanks for all the encouraging words! I am due in 3 weeks with #2, but wasn’t with hubs when I had #1 so this is a whole new land for me.

    Reply
  530. Jessica says:
    February 19, 2014 at 7:36 am

    enough sleep!

    Reply
  531. Katy H. says:
    February 19, 2014 at 7:37 am

    Quality time together!

    Reply
  532. Jessica McNeil says:
    February 19, 2014 at 7:40 am

    When the hubs helps out, and tells me I’m beautiful

    Reply
  533. Sarah W says:
    February 19, 2014 at 8:01 am

    Random touches throughout the day.

    Reply
  534. Marisa Eagle says:
    February 19, 2014 at 8:04 am

    What puts me in the mood? The husband being sweet and playing with the baby or helping out! Haha

    Reply
  535. Amber Haggard says:
    February 19, 2014 at 8:16 am

    When my husband takes care of the LO on a Saturday morning and let’s me sleep a little longer. Or when he does the dishes and laundry without being asked. That gets me happy 🙂

    Reply
  536. Michelle Palma Zometa says:
    February 19, 2014 at 8:35 am

    When I see my husband in his role as a father and enjoying his girls!

    Reply
  537. Audrey says:
    February 19, 2014 at 8:37 am

    It’s good to know we’re not the only one!

    Reply
  538. Heather says:
    February 19, 2014 at 8:37 am

    it helped to make our own special space since baby is in our bed. we used the second bedroom – there is a mattress on the floor, put on clean red sheets, candles, warm blankets, favorite books, etc things that make you feel happy and sexy. we can go in there together and have ‘dates’ on the rare occasion baby will actually stay asleep without us. a shared bottle of wine, talking, massage, and coconut oil!

    Reply
  539. Alexandra Pitcher says:
    February 19, 2014 at 9:07 am

    A back-rub, cuddling, or just a good conversation; it doesn’t hurt when he is extremely helpful around the house and with the kids!

    Reply
  540. Melissa C. says:
    February 19, 2014 at 9:10 am

    Humor usually gets us going! We can’t take ourselves too seriously.

    Reply
  541. tracy says:
    February 19, 2014 at 9:12 am

    When my husband helps around the house.

    Reply
  542. nicole b says:
    February 19, 2014 at 9:14 am

    just seeing my hubby on the weekends after no contact Monday-Friday (due to the academy)..

    Reply
  543. Dawn says:
    February 19, 2014 at 10:06 am

    I think it’s important to remember that even though you may think your body is “different” (it is) or not appealing anymore, your husband sees YOU and NAKED and doesn’t care about any of that other stuff. He loves YOU.

    Reply
  544. Ambyr A says:
    February 19, 2014 at 10:08 am

    one glass of wine

    Reply
  545. Donna says:
    February 19, 2014 at 11:06 am

    Go to bed at the same time.

    Reply
  546. Nicole says:
    February 19, 2014 at 11:07 am

    When my hubby loves on our children and does things around the house to help us out. Nothing sexier then a man doing dishes, changing diapers and helping with homework!!

    Reply
  547. Jessica says:
    February 19, 2014 at 11:12 am

    When I can tell my hubby is in the mood- it really puts me in the mood…

    Reply
  548. Bonnie W. says:
    February 19, 2014 at 11:15 am

    Communication- that’s important 😉

    Reply
  549. Liv says:
    February 19, 2014 at 11:16 am

    Spending a quite evening at dinner is awesome.

    Reply
  550. Kristi N says:
    February 19, 2014 at 11:42 am

    Fail proof way to get me in the mood: a meal and drink that I didn’t have to plan or cook and the time/ability to eat it all myself (instead of sharing everything on my plate with little mouths). Throw in a little adult conversation and watch out!

    Reply
  551. Dhyana says:
    February 19, 2014 at 11:42 am

    Thoughtful gestures.

    Reply
  552. J Harrison says:
    February 19, 2014 at 11:46 am

    a clean house, not expecting it, baby sleeping in her own room or at gma’s

    Reply
  553. JENI says:
    February 19, 2014 at 12:54 pm

    I love when my partner helps around the house. I also love the little touches in between our busy life, like the hand squeezes, when he rubs my back, or sneaks a kiss.

    Reply
  554. Mindy says:
    February 19, 2014 at 1:03 pm

    Being relaxed, general sense of being needed

    Reply
  555. Katherine Young says:
    February 19, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    What puts me in the mood is some well needed relaxtion.

    Reply
  556. Laura says:
    February 19, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    Before I can even think about sex, I really need to have enough rest and not be stressed out. It can be hard to find times when these criteria are both met!

    Reply
  557. Marissa says:
    February 19, 2014 at 1:55 pm

    what puts me in the mood is a clean house, and my husband being willing to help clean/maintain that house. it also puts me in the modd when he plays with our daughter- he’s so great with her!

    Reply
  558. Katrina says:
    February 19, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    Flirting and being well rested!

    Reply
  559. Micci says:
    February 19, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    Best post-baby advice… it’s not JUST about communication, be SPECIFIC with communication during sex. Things are definitely way different and if things are uncomfortable say so specifically: include the where and what of the ‘that’s not working just yet’ part of the post-baby sex.

    Reply
  560. Emily says:
    February 19, 2014 at 3:59 pm

    When daddy babywears

    Reply
  561. Sarah R. says:
    February 19, 2014 at 4:12 pm

    Feeling rested.

    Reply
  562. Kristy says:
    February 19, 2014 at 4:26 pm

    a drink or two and a quiet house (and an easy bedtime)

    Reply
  563. Kellyn says:
    February 19, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    stealing kisses while the kids are playing

    Reply
  564. jessica says:
    February 19, 2014 at 4:46 pm

    What puts me in the mood is my husband allowing me to feel rested and him doing things for me that make me fall in love with him again.

    Reply
  565. Alicia says:
    February 19, 2014 at 4:50 pm

    Be patient and have no expectations.

    Reply
  566. Brittany Broder says:
    February 19, 2014 at 5:01 pm

    Shower, clean house, sleeping kiddo, compliment

    Reply
  567. Christine May says:
    February 19, 2014 at 5:16 pm

    Watching my husband play with our daughter & just be a good dad, thats a huge turn on. A handsome man being a good father; there’s nothing sexier than that!

    Reply
  568. Maria F Sanchez says:
    February 19, 2014 at 5:44 pm

    “What puts you in the mood?”
    Him making an effort to be there for me and my LO.

    Reply
  569. Maria F Sanchez says:
    February 19, 2014 at 5:46 pm

    “What puts you in the mood?”
    When he makes an effort and is there for me. He helps even though he is so tiered.

    Reply
  570. Katelyn S says:
    February 19, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    Seeing my husband do things around the house without me needing to ask or mention it 30 million times.

    Reply
  571. Samantha says:
    February 19, 2014 at 6:18 pm

    Having a good day, and being in a great mood.

    Reply
  572. Rachelwrite says:
    February 19, 2014 at 6:47 pm

    Thanks ms. Weber for the frank and honest blog. Thank goodness someone is willing to take the taboo out of this! As for me, we’re on the sick-after-daycare stage so what turns me on is feeling better. It’s all a stage – that’s my mantra right now.

    Reply
  573. Beki Lozano says:
    February 19, 2014 at 7:39 pm

    a nice hot bath and a back/arm/leg rub. yep and that all it takes!!! lol

    Reply
  574. andrea m. says:
    February 19, 2014 at 7:44 pm

    Honestly, a good strong drink after baby is in bed!

    Reply
  575. Diana @ NannyToMommy says:
    February 19, 2014 at 7:46 pm

    I agree about the “taking one for the team”. I feel you should help them understand because if you just do it & you hurt yourself, you could resent them.

    Reply
  576. Sheri says:
    February 19, 2014 at 7:53 pm

    Quality time alone with my husband always puts me in the mood. Too bad it is so hard to come by after kids!

    Reply
  577. Ashley Y says:
    February 19, 2014 at 8:19 pm

    Spending time together.

    Reply
  578. AnneP says:
    February 19, 2014 at 9:15 pm

    When my husband shows desire for me. I get so self conscious about my post baby body, but when he shows his attration for me…it’s on!

    Reply
  579. Tricia Meryhew says:
    February 19, 2014 at 9:44 pm

    A clean home!

    Reply
  580. Kristen says:
    February 19, 2014 at 9:47 pm

    I have found this time around I am just more in the mood. I am not really sure what it is but it’s been great better than before

    Reply
  581. Rachel M says:
    February 19, 2014 at 9:50 pm

    I can get into the mood when my husband is sweet and affectionate just to be sweet and affectionate!

    Reply
  582. Kailee says:
    February 19, 2014 at 10:29 pm

    After I had my daughter I was single so sex immediately wasn’t really an option and I loved that. So I suggest time. Give it time, take it slow, let your body heal and become a new body that’s functioning a little differently than it ever has.. You don’t have to rush into sex because the doctor said you can after x weeks. Most drs say 6 weeks.. I bled for 7. No thanks!

    Reply
  583. Casey says:
    February 19, 2014 at 10:50 pm

    Booze – it’s nice and relaxing.

    Reply
  584. Amy says:
    February 20, 2014 at 2:28 am

    What puts me in the mood is having my husband help me around the house throughout the day without me asking.

    Reply
  585. Beth Ann says:
    February 20, 2014 at 6:20 am

    A good massage!

    Reply
  586. Kate S says:
    February 20, 2014 at 8:13 am

    A clean house and a sleeping baby!

    Reply
  587. meeshie says:
    February 20, 2014 at 10:24 am

    nothing

    Reply
  588. Kathleen says:
    February 20, 2014 at 11:09 am

    When I get to have some me time…a nice long shower or a bath.

    Reply
  589. C.J. says:
    February 20, 2014 at 11:47 am

    Thanks for your posts. It’s a good reminder that life doesn’t have to completely revolve around kids.

    Reply
  590. Raina Hood says:
    February 20, 2014 at 12:54 pm

    Alcohol usually does the trick.

    Reply
  591. Nettie Larson says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    My husband!

    Reply
  592. Ali says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    A good night of rest and alone time with my husband is the magic combination for us. My husband is even sexier now that he’s a dad of two!

    Reply
  593. Keshia says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    Wine.

    Reply
  594. Sarah Nelson says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    Knowing that sex involves “me time” for once. A chance to be a little selfish.

    Reply
  595. E.S. says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    having my husband come home early and give me a break!!

    Reply
  596. Anna H says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    I think it’s important to take it slow. There are a lot of emotions involved after having a baby. The desire to have sex needs to be mutual.

    Reply
    1. Anna H says:
      February 20, 2014 at 1:25 pm

      Oh and what puts me in a better mood? A clean house and a sleeping baby! 🙂

      Reply
  597. Nichole chamberlain says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:24 pm

    Flirting!

    Reply
  598. Krista says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    get in the shower together

    Reply
  599. Chrissy Hawkins says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:28 pm

    We are struggling, this was helpful.

    Reply
  600. alicia forkner says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:28 pm

    A nice back rub always gets me in the mood

    Reply
  601. Cat says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:28 pm

    Spontaneity!

    Reply
  602. Kristen says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:30 pm

    Flirting and special attention from my husband. He always says that I look beautiful, but when he puts the extra effort forth to hold my hand, cuddle, pinch my butt, etc that gets me more in the mood than a clean house or him doing chores. However, when he wears our baby in the baby carrier I have to say there is nothing more sexy than a daddy with a baby in the baby wrap!

    Reply
  603. page says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:32 pm

    Flirting with my husband and making out put me in the mood!

    Reply
  604. Brittany P. says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:32 pm

    Communication is key! and knowing there isnt any cleaning haunting me so that I can enjoy!

    Reply
  605. Katie Gilmore says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:34 pm

    It may sound silly but one of the things that really puts me in the mood is watching my husband play with our sons. Seeing what a great father he is always makes me want to show him how much I appreciate him once the kids are asleep.

    Reply
  606. Liz G. says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    Honestly, as a stay at home, full time student, homeschooling momma of four, an uninterrupted shower does me a lot of good. As a mother, there are a lot of emotional and physical demands throughout the day. To have a good twenty minutes alone for self care if very helpful and healthy in transitioning from momma mode to a lover.

    Reply
  607. Erica says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:37 pm

    Having my husband do a chore I usually do so I can take a long shower does wonders to put me in the mood

    Reply
  608. Janet says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    Taking it slow and steady is key. It can be scary, especially if you had a difficult natural birth, but totally worth rekindling that connection with your loved one. Do not feel pressure to go back to really passionate or rough sex. Take it easy and it will hopefully be a beautiful return to lovemaking 🙂

    Reply
  609. J says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    Great article! Hoping to try some of these.

    Reply
  610. Marina Loredo says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    The biggest turn on was when my hubby came to pick me up from work (at a gym) and he had been working out.

    Reply
  611. Joette says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    One of my favorite things is when my husband tells me how beautiful I am. Especially since I’m pregnant with our second and feeling (and looking) exhausted.

    Reply
  612. Christina D. says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:52 pm

    Having a clean house, less clutter equals less stress equals in the mood. Double points if the husband did the cleaning 🙂

    Reply
  613. kristi says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:53 pm

    Getting enough sleep!

    Reply
  614. Bethany says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:56 pm

    my hubby being overly affectionate once the kids are asleep always gets me in the mood

    Reply
  615. Amanda R says:
    February 20, 2014 at 1:57 pm

    When my husband offers to rub my back, we laugh and reconnect after a long day, and when he acts like his silly self 🙂

    Reply
  616. Elisabeth says:
    February 20, 2014 at 2:04 pm

    This is something we still struggle with 18+ months after baby. Making time to flirt and be playful is so important!

    Reply
  617. Emily S says:
    February 20, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    a gentle touch, caress, kiss

    Reply