As news comes in today of the rescue of 7 of the girls kidnapped from a school in Chibok, Nigeria, I wonder how many people are looking at the published list of names and wondering what their names are. For those of us in the West, which of those foreign looking collection of letters on the list can we cross off as having made it home?
I find myself asking do their names really matter?
Two of my daughters have survived sexual assault, assault at the hands of someone we knew well and loved. I have their permission to share their story and they are brave in sharing their story themselves. But we know it comes with a price. Talking openly, being the humanizing element of sexual abuse survivors isn’t exactly easy. Even in our culture, where we struggle to come to terms with our sexuality and the sexuality of others but still display it openly, even here there is a stigma associated with sexual assault. A stigma that somehow is often applied to the victim even more than the perpetrator. My daughters and I are called brave for sharing our stories, we have been cautioned about how others may treat us for being open about our experiences, we have been warned that people will look at us different. We are told these things out of concern for our reputation. Here in the United States of America. Here, where rape culture is called out and challenged. Here, where efforts for women’s rights are championed by leaders and celebrities. Here, where the names are familiar and not foreign sounding.
Here, where a minor’s name is not publicly released to the media in the case of sexual assault.
Yet when we’re feeling overwhelmed and sad, when we’re doing our best to empathize with the people half a world away we ogle a list of names of minors kidnapped and likely sold as sex slaves. A list of names we can’t recognize, a list that may or may not be true, may or may not be political positioning, a list we know isn’t approved for release by the parents and local governor of those girls.
Is it really wise to be publishing the names of the girls that were kidnapped in Nigeria 3 weeks ago? When I first saw that I got nervous, my first thought was how, if these girls are rescued, they could be stigmatized and outcast forever in their communities. Their world is so different from ours, they were rebelling simply by going to school. What could their published names as likely sexual assault survivors mean in their setting? Or what if their captors used it against them and their family somehow? In the States the names of minors are usually not released to protect the privacy of children, why do we feel we have a right to these names?
What’s the point in releasing their names? To make it seem more real? Is it the humanity of the victims or our own humanity that moves us to act with compassion? A list of foreign names in a Western context isn’t going to help, Westerners aren’t even likely to identify those as names. Names aren’t needed to humanize and make something more real. Names aren’t required for us to empathize and want to do something. It isn’t the names and faces of those that are hurt that makes us empathize, it should be our own humanity that makes it real and motivates us to care. I’m sad for these girls, yet another level of violation of their personhood.
I believe in raising awareness, I believe that even an outcry on social media can make a difference. I don’t think we always do it well and we screw up and make unintentional mistakes (and sometimes intentional ones…) but using what small influence we can possibly have is good. But we HAVE to be responsible with it and not just reactionary. We HAVE to remember that raising awareness for the plight of someone else requires sensitivity and probably more complex issues than we realize. And we HAVE to be willing to course correct if we’re going to be vocal. And, perhaps most important of all, we HAVE to be sure that genuinely helping is our motive and not getting likes and click throughs or the the scoop. If that’s the goal then it’s exploitive and really, is that any better than the original problem if it causes more hurt?
The families and governor of the state these girls are from released this statement that is being ignored about the publication of the names of these minors:
Our fear, [is that] to reveal names that would reveal religion and family backgrounds … could at the end, compromise the safety of these girls.
Gusau went on to say that publicizing the names gives Boko Haram access to identify their families as well, which could lead to demands for a ransom. The governor also expressed concern that this published list could undermine rescue operations and sensationalize the kidnapping. And beyond immediate concerns, Gusau went on to say that such a list could make the lives of these girls even more difficult in the long term by marking them for life:
Abductions of girls are sometimes interpreted to mean automatic rape, [and] where the identity of these are revealed, they could be stigmatized even after being rescued.
My daughters and I have chosen to talk about experiences as sexual assault survivors on our own accord. We have shared our names and faces by choice. But let me tell you, if, while it was happening, while we were in the midst of immediately dealing with the abuse and someone else distributed our names to the world for pity, I would be beyond pissed. If this happened in a Western context, would any of us be ok with our daughters’ names being handed out to the world before they were even safely back in our arms?
Those sharing the list, reposting it on their social media outlets probably mean well. Most of them, anyway. But I question that doing so is actually helping anyone, it may even just be causing the very ones we’re hoping to help, more harm. There is power in social media and traditional media to influence change in both positive and negative ways. Even power in a hashtag. It is our responsibility to use that power well and not cause more damage. Care about these girls, pray for their families, pressure leaders, and use what influence you can to help them. Because of your own humanity, not because of a list.
~Jessica