by Jessica Martin-Weber Children need the opportunity to fail in their responsibilities, experience accountability, admit their mistakes, identify what went wrong, and be supported in trying again. But if parents never let their children experience failure in their responsibilities, if parents always swoop in to prevent failure, are their children ever actually responsible? Responsibilities:…
Tag: controlling our children
I Loved My Child But I Didn’t Like Her
by Jessica Martin-Weber *Edited to add this content warning- difficult relationship with parent discussed including parent not liking their child.* I had a child I didn’t connect with well. For some reason we didn’t click. It was more than that. We didn’t click, we didn’t connect, we didn’t understand each other, we didn’t enjoy…
My Perfect Stepford Family, or Why I Don’t Control My Children
“You can’t touch my body without permission! It’s my body!” “You can’t tell me what to do!” “You’re not in charge of me!” Great. We have deliberately and diligently taught our children that they are in charge of their bodies, and responsible for their actions and reactions. Now they think that they are therefore in…
Children Must Break Their Parents
Every parent faces the reality that their children have a will of their own, which I think most would agree is a good thing in and of itself. But parents also face huge external pressure to control their children; the way your child behaves is after all a direct reflection of how good a parent…
A Conversation With My Younger Self
“Thank you for your concern. My name is Jeremy, by the way.” he said as he extended his hand. “That’s interesting.” I said as I shook his hand. “My name is Jeremy too.” We exchanged a friendly smile and parted ways. As I walked away, my mind was whirling with questions: Did our conversation…
Why We Stopped Spanking our Children
“This hurts me more than it hurts you.” I never once believed this to be true when I would use a spanking or a hand slap to discipline my young children. I believe that dealing with the reality and implications of being hit is way more difficult and painful than the feelings associated with hitting…