I don’t know how it happened, it was a slow process, but over time we became… healthy-ish.
When were first started our lives together 20 years ago, Jessica and I had come from backgrounds that were considered healthy-ish, depending on how you define healthy. Jessica’s family didn’t eat any refined sugar or processed grains (her mom milled her own wheat to make bread) while my family was more into moderation. At the time (and still, though to a lessening degree), healthy meant low-fat, some vegetables, and a smaller serving of ice cream. Remember ice milk? Yeah, we didn’t have that in France, but Jessica has extolled its “virtues” to me.
Setting up our first home was a bit like playing house – only we really got to do what we wanted. We decided to eat “healthy” but gave ourselves permission to eat all the foods we weren’t permitted to have growing up. This worked out fairly well at the time, in part because we were dirt poor, and in part because we were excited to rebel a little bit.
And so it was for some time. Years, actually. We thought we were healthy having Hamburger Helper (with half the meat because meat was expensive) and an iceberg lettuce side salad; and that was on a good night because often it was more along the lines of chips and queso, microwaved ramen noodles, macaroni and cheese with a side of corn, loaded baked potatoes (by which I mean butter and sour cream with a broccoli floret – maybe two), or a bowl of cereal. And Coka-cola. So much Coke. Between our budget, time constraints, and exercising our right to decide for ourselves, we really weren’t doing too bad. Not great, but not horrible either. We didn’t want to be like those health-nuts who spent a fortune at health food stores eating stuff that smelled like yard clippings. Obsessing over food didn’t seem healthy either so we would just kind of winged it with some healthy choices.
Over time, though, something started to shift. We read a magazine article questioning the American diet while waiting for a doctor’s appointment that raised some questions, had dinner with my vegetarian sister who ate strange things like cactus, heard conversations questioning where our food comes from, and learned more about what our bodies really need. Then came a major wake up call:
Jessica got pregnant.
In talking with her doctor about what she normally ate we were faced with the possibility that our diet wasn’t actually healthy at all. That our developing baby and Jessica’s body needed something better. Her doctor encouraged her to increase her vegetable servings, reduce her soda consumption (preferably to eliminate it), switch to whole grains, and to increase lean protein. As we read materials on pregnancy and childbirth, we learned even more about what we should and shouldn’t be eating.
We weren’t as healthy as we had thought.
Not even close.
Overwhelmed, we weren’t sure where to get started, what we could afford, or even if we would like it. Then, as Jessica’s pregnancy progressed and food proved to be exceptionally challenging due to HG (hyperemesis gravidarum), one thought became key: do what you can.
Cautiously, we began making little changes, trying to move toward more nutritious choices without being controlled by our dietary needs, finding ways to make it fit our budget and exploring our options, and taking into consideration “what’s the better choice that fits my budget and needs?” – a game of “Eat This Not That” we continue to play in our quest to take care of our bodies and our family. Because the process was slow and gentle, the foods that we didn’t care for initially often worked their way into becoming favorites.
I mean now we even regularly eat a kale, brussels sprouts, broccoli salad. I promise, 20 years ago the idea that such a salad would be on our table once a week or so would seem impossible. Yet here we are.
Today, many, many years later, our former selves would probably see us as a little nutty. Not totally; we’re still somewhat relaxed about our nutritional choices but we lean way more healthy than our younger selves would have thought possible. We even bought a part of our own grass-fed cow this year and have our freezer stocked with organic beef (an option that felt expensive as an upfront cost but was actually cheaper than the average non-organic beef prices at our local grocer). We have a garden and aim to fill our plate with more vegetables than anything but we’re not afraid of fat any more, as long as it’s good fat, and so we make our own bone broths and even mayonnaise from scratch. It isn’t extreme; I mean we don’t eat strictly organic and we’re not opposed to some packaged convenience foods. We do read labels and there are some things we avoid such as artificial colors, artificial flavors, high fructose corn syrup (and we’ve had to learn its other names), and hydrogenated oils.
Still, sometimes money is tight and we chose the option we would rather avoid. We’re always trying to do better while accepting where we are.
Almost health nuts.
It works for us, though, and it is what our children know. We rarely eat out and when we do it isn’t usually fast food (we’re lucky to have some quality food trucks in our areas that align with our nutritional goals) so our children haven’t developed a taste for chicken nuggets (ok, that does seem weird, but we’re ok with it).
The reality that there is some level of privilege in being able to make such food choices isn’t lost on us. We are aware that even having access to more nutritional options is something many don’t have. That motivates us to press for more options and encourage families in their own journey, whatever that may look like.
Food judgment doesn’t help anyone. Experiencing shame about how we eat and feed our family wasn’t what inspired us; it was learning about nutrition and having access to do something about it that made a difference. It was learning we could aim for healthy-ish as a journey that helped us get started.
Here’s to the journey toward healthy-ish!
~ Jeremy
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